"You can do no wrong"
Welcome to the Crapsville Hilton for the awards ceremony like no other, yes folks it's (drumroll, expectant hush) THE FLASHYS!!! (Crowd roar!)
Before we take our seats for the presentations, let's just check out the red carpet...
There's The Duke Of Jokes shuffling in looking very smart in his tux but grumpily refusing to speak (By 'eck!). Look here comes Cheryl looking resplendent in a purple, off the shoulder ballgown, waving to the crowds & pausing before the army of papparazi.
Ooh my word! That's a very revealing outfit young Charby has chosen tonight, the flashbulbs are going into meltdown! Is that Charlton lingerie there missy?
Other's are still teeming in, maybe I spied a Gladys, a Di, a Chapstick? Who knows.
Anyway take your seats & put your hands together for a man who doesn't need a big introduction but demanded one anyway. The dashing, charming English treasure who we all know & love, the man of whom the late, great Freddie Mercury described as "The saviour of the universe!"... it's FLASH!! (Screams of adulation so intense that all the inhabitants of Crapsville dog's home go uncontrollably loopy)
Thank you very much & welcome to this years Flashys, a rather unique occasion in the social calendar, I'm sure you'd agree. Where else can you get an awards bash where only one giant ego gets to run riot?
Without further ado, here are the nominations for the Best Single of 2004...
How did it ever come to this? - Easyworld
Vertigo - U2
Bedshaped - Keane
Spitting games - Snow Patrol
Take me out - Franz Ferdinand
And the winner is .... Bedshaped!!! A song so lovely and sad that it brings a lump to my throat every single time I hear it. Let's hear it for Keane!
Ok, now it's time to watch grandpa's pulse as we unveil (oh how I wish...) the sexiest female of 2004. The lovelys in question are...
Cameron Diaz
Kylie Minogue
Kelly Brook
Jennifer Ellison
Jennifer Aniston
And the winner is.... Kylie Minogue!! Yes, my antipodean angel reigns supreme for the gazillionth year running, let us salute the only woman in the world who could make me say "This is my second wife".
Onwards & upwards then with the hotly contested Best New Band award, the nominees are...
Franz Ferdinand
Razorlight
Keane
Kasabian
The Killers
This one has been a very tough decision but after much deliberation the winners are...The Killers!
Any band who have a song called "Glamourous indie rock n' roll" are always gonna do alright with me.
Next up, Best TV show. The nominees are...
Teachers
Match of the day
Big Brother
Never mind the Buzzcocks
Friends
The winner of course is... Friends! It's been months now since they left me & I'm still pining for them. A programme that has made me laugh more than anything else ever has. I love you Rachel!!
(cough) Sorry about that. Best live band nominations now. To my eternal shame I have only been to 4 gigs this year, so the 4 are...
The White Stripes
Keane
Duran Duran
Snow Patrol
The Winners are... Snow Patrol. Just edging it from Jack & Meg, Snow Patrol's recent Brixton show did it for me big time!
Moving on we now consider the Best solo artist of 2004...
Charlotte Hatherley
Morrissey
Ed Harcourt
Paul Weller
Ryan Adams
The winner, by a considerable distance, is... Morrissey. To have Mozza back in our world is one thing but to have him back on such tip-top form is ace!
Now I don't actually seem to see many films these days & those I do are often governed by The Boy, so bear this in mind as I present the nominees for 2004's best movie...
Shrek 2
Van Helsing
The day after tomorrow
Spiderman 2
The Incredibles
And the winner is... Spiderman 2. Excellent fun from everyone's favourite web-slinger & the lovely Kirsten Dunst too!
The best film I've seen this year was "Fight Club" but I was a bit behind the times there, eh?
Ok, only 4 to go & next it's the Best Cover Version award. The nominees being...
Crazy in love - Snow Patrol
Hey Ya - Razorlight
Young hearts run free - Easyworld
Stop - Jamelia
Thinking of you - Paul Weller
The winner is the beautiful treatment of Young hearts run free by Easyworld, who of course are now sadly defunct.
The big ones coming up now, the one they all want is Best Album the 10 in with a shout are...
Hot fuss - The Killers
Hopes & fears - Keane
Kill the last romantic - Easyworld
You are the quarry - Morrissey
Final straw - Snow Patrol
Meltdown - Ash
Welcome to the North - The Music
Franz Ferdinand - Franz Ferdinand
A grand don't come for free - The Streets
Antics - Interpol
The winner is... (big fanfare!) Snow Patrol's Final Straw! An album that absorbs from start to finish. An album that has soundtracked some of my finer moments this year. An album SO absolutely staggering that it has beaten Easyworld into 2nd place (Sorry Dav! It's because I got it in 2003, mate!), anyone who hasn't heard it yet. I suggest you go & buy it ASAP.
Our final musical award is The Flashy for being The best band in the world. The nominees are...
Snow Patrol
Depeche Mode
The White Stripes
Muse
Radiohead
And, despite a quiet year the winners are...Muse. A band so utterly, unstoppably brilliant that the ripples from last year's awesome "Absolution" still allow them to carry the coveted Flashy away. All hail Muse!
All that remains is the award for best blog. Let's not chuff about with nominees & just give the damn thing to...World of Flash! And here to accept this award is me!!
Thankyou for this Flashy, it's a fine honour & I'm beaming with pride here. In time honoured tradition I want to dish out some thanks. These words are all 100% sincere & I mean them from the bottom of my heart. Firstly I'd like to thank The Duke Of Jokes for suggesting the idea of doing a blog & for his continuing support. I'd like to thank all the people in my real life who provide the interactions that fuel my posts. I'd like to thank all who have dropped by here & had a read. I hope you continue to drop by. Most of all though I want to thank my girls, Cheryl & Charby. Honestly, were it not for your loyalty & regular comments I would've probably given up long ago. Without you two, I am nothing. So thanks again, I really feel like I've made 2 special friends in both of you, (lump in throat, tears welling, award held aloft) Thankyou, I love you all.
Before we take our seats for the presentations, let's just check out the red carpet...
There's The Duke Of Jokes shuffling in looking very smart in his tux but grumpily refusing to speak (By 'eck!). Look here comes Cheryl looking resplendent in a purple, off the shoulder ballgown, waving to the crowds & pausing before the army of papparazi.
Ooh my word! That's a very revealing outfit young Charby has chosen tonight, the flashbulbs are going into meltdown! Is that Charlton lingerie there missy?
Other's are still teeming in, maybe I spied a Gladys, a Di, a Chapstick? Who knows.
Anyway take your seats & put your hands together for a man who doesn't need a big introduction but demanded one anyway. The dashing, charming English treasure who we all know & love, the man of whom the late, great Freddie Mercury described as "The saviour of the universe!"... it's FLASH!! (Screams of adulation so intense that all the inhabitants of Crapsville dog's home go uncontrollably loopy)
Thank you very much & welcome to this years Flashys, a rather unique occasion in the social calendar, I'm sure you'd agree. Where else can you get an awards bash where only one giant ego gets to run riot?
Without further ado, here are the nominations for the Best Single of 2004...
How did it ever come to this? - Easyworld
Vertigo - U2
Bedshaped - Keane
Spitting games - Snow Patrol
Take me out - Franz Ferdinand
And the winner is .... Bedshaped!!! A song so lovely and sad that it brings a lump to my throat every single time I hear it. Let's hear it for Keane!
Ok, now it's time to watch grandpa's pulse as we unveil (oh how I wish...) the sexiest female of 2004. The lovelys in question are...
Cameron Diaz
Kylie Minogue
Kelly Brook
Jennifer Ellison
Jennifer Aniston
And the winner is.... Kylie Minogue!! Yes, my antipodean angel reigns supreme for the gazillionth year running, let us salute the only woman in the world who could make me say "This is my second wife".
Onwards & upwards then with the hotly contested Best New Band award, the nominees are...
Franz Ferdinand
Razorlight
Keane
Kasabian
The Killers
This one has been a very tough decision but after much deliberation the winners are...The Killers!
Any band who have a song called "Glamourous indie rock n' roll" are always gonna do alright with me.
Next up, Best TV show. The nominees are...
Teachers
Match of the day
Big Brother
Never mind the Buzzcocks
Friends
The winner of course is... Friends! It's been months now since they left me & I'm still pining for them. A programme that has made me laugh more than anything else ever has. I love you Rachel!!
(cough) Sorry about that. Best live band nominations now. To my eternal shame I have only been to 4 gigs this year, so the 4 are...
The White Stripes
Keane
Duran Duran
Snow Patrol
The Winners are... Snow Patrol. Just edging it from Jack & Meg, Snow Patrol's recent Brixton show did it for me big time!
Moving on we now consider the Best solo artist of 2004...
Charlotte Hatherley
Morrissey
Ed Harcourt
Paul Weller
Ryan Adams
The winner, by a considerable distance, is... Morrissey. To have Mozza back in our world is one thing but to have him back on such tip-top form is ace!
Now I don't actually seem to see many films these days & those I do are often governed by The Boy, so bear this in mind as I present the nominees for 2004's best movie...
Shrek 2
Van Helsing
The day after tomorrow
Spiderman 2
The Incredibles
And the winner is... Spiderman 2. Excellent fun from everyone's favourite web-slinger & the lovely Kirsten Dunst too!
The best film I've seen this year was "Fight Club" but I was a bit behind the times there, eh?
Ok, only 4 to go & next it's the Best Cover Version award. The nominees being...
Crazy in love - Snow Patrol
Hey Ya - Razorlight
Young hearts run free - Easyworld
Stop - Jamelia
Thinking of you - Paul Weller
The winner is the beautiful treatment of Young hearts run free by Easyworld, who of course are now sadly defunct.
The big ones coming up now, the one they all want is Best Album the 10 in with a shout are...
Hot fuss - The Killers
Hopes & fears - Keane
Kill the last romantic - Easyworld
You are the quarry - Morrissey
Final straw - Snow Patrol
Meltdown - Ash
Welcome to the North - The Music
Franz Ferdinand - Franz Ferdinand
A grand don't come for free - The Streets
Antics - Interpol
The winner is... (big fanfare!) Snow Patrol's Final Straw! An album that absorbs from start to finish. An album that has soundtracked some of my finer moments this year. An album SO absolutely staggering that it has beaten Easyworld into 2nd place (Sorry Dav! It's because I got it in 2003, mate!), anyone who hasn't heard it yet. I suggest you go & buy it ASAP.
Our final musical award is The Flashy for being The best band in the world. The nominees are...
Snow Patrol
Depeche Mode
The White Stripes
Muse
Radiohead
And, despite a quiet year the winners are...Muse. A band so utterly, unstoppably brilliant that the ripples from last year's awesome "Absolution" still allow them to carry the coveted Flashy away. All hail Muse!
All that remains is the award for best blog. Let's not chuff about with nominees & just give the damn thing to...World of Flash! And here to accept this award is me!!
Thankyou for this Flashy, it's a fine honour & I'm beaming with pride here. In time honoured tradition I want to dish out some thanks. These words are all 100% sincere & I mean them from the bottom of my heart. Firstly I'd like to thank The Duke Of Jokes for suggesting the idea of doing a blog & for his continuing support. I'd like to thank all the people in my real life who provide the interactions that fuel my posts. I'd like to thank all who have dropped by here & had a read. I hope you continue to drop by. Most of all though I want to thank my girls, Cheryl & Charby. Honestly, were it not for your loyalty & regular comments I would've probably given up long ago. Without you two, I am nothing. So thanks again, I really feel like I've made 2 special friends in both of you, (lump in throat, tears welling, award held aloft) Thankyou, I love you all.
And that's what Flash thinks today @ 01:16
3 Comments:
At 10:43 am,
Charby said…
*sob*
I luuurveee you too!
Modifiying that football shirt was a good plan, I expect to be the front page of tomorrows newspapers!
Now is it time for that after award-show party?
Where's the free booze?
At 7:45 pm,
Anonymous said…
Great award show!
the Duke of Jokes breaks silence... *fart* and wind (sorry 'bout that)
had a smile on my face throughout reading that. Reminded me of the old days of "Chummy Boots" and "Swizz Bizz" magazines we used to write back in the day
Jeez that fart stinks, gonna have to open a window
TTFN!
At 2:53 am,
shorty said…
Bravo! Well said. Although, Purple ballgown??? Can't exactly see that, but maybe for this great occasion, I would sport it. : )
As far as best blog??? A little bias I think, not that I don't agree 100% but I think that category was rigged. Eh?
I too would like to thank the DOJ for sharing Flash with us and welcome him back to the comment section as well!
Now on with the show!!!
Post a Comment
<< Home