"You've been the only thing that's right in a lifetime"

I've had surprising lovely night tonight.
Funny Dance took Reckless & I to see The Early Birds tonight.
It was good to finally meet them. I'll elaborate another time.

While Funny Dance was finishing up, Reckless & I went out to car & shared a spliff. Maybe because I haven't much lately; I got stoned pretty quickly. Funny Dance returned & we drove back to Reckless' place. On the way we started to reminisce about times long past...

Of how I once tried to dye my hair blond using a sink & a bottle of happy shopper bleach but only managed to temporarily disfigure my forehead...

Of how, during a trip to Barry island with Married A Proper Bitch (who upon arrival decided that he didn't want to go out on the piss & promptly sulked in the car on his own for the rest of the night) (?), Reckless & I got shitfaced & decided that skinnydipping in the Bristol channel would be a worthy apres-beer activity & to awake the next morning in the car wearing each other's trousers & that the pair I was wearing had a bloody great hole ripped in one of the legs because I had (apparently) insisted on shunning the steps in favour of "rockclimbing up the sea wall, mate!"...

Of how, bored one Sunday lunchtime the four of us chanced upon the idea of having a race.
The destination: Somewhere none of us has been before. We chose Stonehenge!
The rules: There are no rules
The competitors: Reckless in his D reg white Cavalier which had seen better days & his trusty navigator, nay, CO-PILOT Flash against Married A Proper Bitch & his accomplice; Funny Dance in his shiny, black, F reg XR3i with electric windows!
We commenced this battle of guile & wits in Rugby. It was nip & tuck all the way to Banbury where both cars fuelled up. Exiting Banbury, I told Reckless to hang back a bit, they disappeared over a brow of a hill just before we took a right. They went via Oxford & Hungerford while we pulled what is now known as the Swindon maneuver. There was 8 minutes between the two car's arrival at our mystic finishing posts. For those whole 8 minutes the victorious team laughed & danced & sang & then all the druids & American tourists started chanting "All hail Reckless & Flash!"
The secret of our success? Superior tunes...

Of how we would almost every Thursday night drive down to London & just drive about for hours. One of these nights, we pulled up alongside one of the new (at the time) weird looking Volvos. "Those cars are fucking horrible" announces I
"Tell him" says Married a Proper Bitch
"Tell him?"
"Go on" encourage the boys in the back
"I'll give you a quid"
So I wound down the window getting the guy's attention with a little wave, "Mate, I'm sorry to say this but your car is fucking horrible"
The guy smiles a smile so uncomfortable it could've been stapled on, the lights change, we piss our collective pants & I'm a pound richer.

We used to be so young...

There were many more but I'm still a trifle stoned (Reckless made me one to go) & my memory is failing (not convinced about the druids) so I'll leave it there.

We spoke of Married A Proper Bitch. We hatched plan to go round his house & each letting down a tyre on his (no doubt) beloved car writing our names on the wheels. We vetoed the operation as was was deemed both stupid & a bit mean.
We all did feel quite sorry for him because after he married a proper bitch he lost something quite precious.

Many Women have come & gone for all of us over the last 20 years, but through that time myself, Reckless & Funny Dance have remained a constant.

I love those guys.
They are my best mates & my allies, my co-conspirators & alibis
2o years strong, shit doesn't time fly.