"Everybody knows that I need you"
Guilty as charged.
As Cheryl pointed out in her last comment, this blog has changed somewhat since it's inception.
It did used to be a diary & now I do tend to write to/for my readers.
There are probably many reasons for this, but I shall focus on the two obvious causes.
Events: Around the time that this blog started gaining readers (my beautiful devoted girls who arrived about the same time) my life was actually reasonably eventful. Things happened, women came in & out of my life (albeit briefly) & I used to be out & about doing things. This doesn't seem to happen much anymore.
Me: This is the real reason, me. I know I really don't have to tell you what I'm like but I will anyway.
I am an attention seeker.
I am a people pleaser.
I am a man who needs to be loved by everybody he has any contact with.
I am a natural born performer.
I thrive on having an audience.
I live to be the focus of people's attention.
I am an ego-centric big head with low self esteem who is often crippled with self doubt.
I am not right.
I find it impossible not to play to the crowd now that I know there is one there.
This is not a good thing because it's never enough (hmm, may be a song there!), I am a slave to my comments. When I don't receive any I want to stamp up & down, I want to demand why you don't love me anymore. Luckily enough, I do still hold onto some semblance of sanity & it quickly passes. When I recently had a post with 10 comments I was overjoyed, but I immediately set myself new targets. Never enough, y'see.
So despite being able to see my flaws, I am unable to alter them or indeed alter myself.
It would seem that the diary (that Cheryl fell in love with) is dead.
Long live World of Flash; a world where I can feed my insatiable ego, still address my many faults & mistakes, talk about things that only a captive audience would listen to, occasionally tell of events that have occurred around me, tell you stories of times past & still (just maybe) be something that Cheryl & anyone/everyone can be in love with.
As Cheryl pointed out in her last comment, this blog has changed somewhat since it's inception.
It did used to be a diary & now I do tend to write to/for my readers.
There are probably many reasons for this, but I shall focus on the two obvious causes.
Events: Around the time that this blog started gaining readers (my beautiful devoted girls who arrived about the same time) my life was actually reasonably eventful. Things happened, women came in & out of my life (albeit briefly) & I used to be out & about doing things. This doesn't seem to happen much anymore.
Me: This is the real reason, me. I know I really don't have to tell you what I'm like but I will anyway.
I am an attention seeker.
I am a people pleaser.
I am a man who needs to be loved by everybody he has any contact with.
I am a natural born performer.
I thrive on having an audience.
I live to be the focus of people's attention.
I am an ego-centric big head with low self esteem who is often crippled with self doubt.
I am not right.
I find it impossible not to play to the crowd now that I know there is one there.
This is not a good thing because it's never enough (hmm, may be a song there!), I am a slave to my comments. When I don't receive any I want to stamp up & down, I want to demand why you don't love me anymore. Luckily enough, I do still hold onto some semblance of sanity & it quickly passes. When I recently had a post with 10 comments I was overjoyed, but I immediately set myself new targets. Never enough, y'see.
So despite being able to see my flaws, I am unable to alter them or indeed alter myself.
It would seem that the diary (that Cheryl fell in love with) is dead.
Long live World of Flash; a world where I can feed my insatiable ego, still address my many faults & mistakes, talk about things that only a captive audience would listen to, occasionally tell of events that have occurred around me, tell you stories of times past & still (just maybe) be something that Cheryl & anyone/everyone can be in love with.
And that's what Flash thinks today @ 21:20
4 Comments:
At 10:24 pm,
shorty said…
Name dropper. LOL. I'm sorry, this is your blog to do what you want with. I just miss that part of you. You know I'll read and comment as long as you are writing...no matter what it's about.
ooooooooooo
At 10:56 pm,
Charby said…
Just to let you know that the postie delivered today and I shall forgive you the crap notepaper!
I've not yet had a chance to listen to it properly all the way through, just the odd track but I loved Egg Wielding Freak.
I'll let you know what I think once I listen properly!
(Oh and thanks for pandering to the ego with the BSc bit!)
At 10:57 pm,
Charby said…
Oh - and have a peek at Cheryl's blog, admire the picture and see if that disappoints your mental image of me.
At 3:22 am,
Hyde said…
As a latecomer to your blog, all I have to say is: old-Flash/new-Flash...it's all good to me! By the way, enjoy all the girls at the office! I think it's funny that "Crisp Fiend" is "a bit miffed."
-Hyde
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