"Into the heart of darkness, beyond the point of no return, WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING?"
Whoa! That was quite a weekend; allow me to fill you in. Rainbow Girl & I got back to Crapsville about 1pm on Friday. After some lunch at Tesco’s we went for the first of many drinks. We had a really nice day; we talked, laughed, bitched about our fellow pub dwellers & really enjoyed each other’s company. Friday night we ended up in bed & made love 3 times. It was fantastic, loving yet raw. I have to say that either a) all girls lie or b) I really am a very good lover! I do think it may be the latter. Rainbow Girl was also very good, expressive, receptive, sensual & with a hint of aggression. A couple of times she totally shredded my back with her razor blade fingernails, although it hurt like hell it also felt good. C’mon guys you understand don’t you?
We awoke on Saturday about 9 & quite literally stayed in bed all day long not venturing out till 5pm. It was utterly beautiful, the two of us enjoying each other’s bodies & minds all day, non-stop. We were both extremely happy. When we did finally get up we had a bath & some food & then we went to Northampton to see Reckless & Dream Girl. In retrospect this was probably not a great idea but I wanted my friends to meet this colourful woman who was making me happy. All went reasonably well over there though & everyone seemed to get on fine.
When we got back we pretty went straight to bed. After a few minutes of fooling around she asked, “where do we go from here?” it would seem the answer was straight down to the 7th layer of hell. I know that Rainbow Girl is in a very difficult place right now so I tried to be as nice as I was honest. I told her that despite having a truly wonderful time with her & really liking her, I didn’t think that realistically anything could really come from it due to the distance involved & the practicalities involved: our children, work, money, etc. This is where I started to see a very different Rainbow Girl. She got very shitty, saying “she was just a weekend shag then?” I told her time & again that I didn’t see it anything like that. I thought we were two people who had really enjoyed being with each other & what she was saying cheapened that. Let me get this straight I did not see her as a shag for the weekend, I saw her as a really cool women whose company I enjoyed in & out of the bedroom. Again though I had to point out the fact that it would be all but impossible to try & have some sort of relationship. She refused to accept this & said if she were worth it, I’d make an effort. She became increasingly agitated & nasty. I found myself becoming quite upset by it all, she was making me out as some sort of bastard & I wasn’t having it. She also showed a lot of aggression, at one point stabbing her nails into my arm, which really fucking hurt. Then she says she wants me to make love to her again. I couldn’t & I didn’t. How was I supposed to perform an act of love after that? I told her as much & I went to sleep feeling hurt & bewildered.
Sunday morning seemed better initially though it didn’t last long. We did have sex again at her insistence. I was reluctant but weakly gave in & went through the motions. 24 hours previous the sex was phenomenal, now it was unfeeling like carrying out a chore. How very sad. When finished I went to move, to “pull out”, Rainbow Girl ferociously plunged all her nails into the base of my back. I yelped in pain & told her that it had really hurt, I was extremely pissed off. She didn’t flinch, she just sneered at me telling me that I could only take it out when she said so. There were several other instances of hostility like with her face only an inch from mine smiling at me saying “Thank you for a really lovely Friday & Saturday (her face then twisted with hate) & FUCK YOU FOR A SHITTY SUNDAY”.
There then followed a horrible hour of silence while she got ready to go. The drive to Braintree went quicker than usual. Nice clear motorways allowed me to drive as fast as I could get away with. As we got closer to Braintree she became almost nice again. I had a coffee then left. Strangely we kissed goodbye & she suggested I should come down to her for the weekend. Hmmm. So I left.
As I write this I’m still not sure what happened. We had such a lovely time, full of joy & warmth. We’d spoke of love & trust, she’d said I’d made her feel special & that she hadn’t enjoyed sex like that for years. Then right before my eyes she turned into one of the most dislikeable people I’ve ever met. I know she’s having a very difficult time with life at the moment & I have to allow for that. The poor girl is in a mess & I still feel for her but as I drove away from Essex I decided that I never want to see Rainbow Girl again.
Ever.
We awoke on Saturday about 9 & quite literally stayed in bed all day long not venturing out till 5pm. It was utterly beautiful, the two of us enjoying each other’s bodies & minds all day, non-stop. We were both extremely happy. When we did finally get up we had a bath & some food & then we went to Northampton to see Reckless & Dream Girl. In retrospect this was probably not a great idea but I wanted my friends to meet this colourful woman who was making me happy. All went reasonably well over there though & everyone seemed to get on fine.
When we got back we pretty went straight to bed. After a few minutes of fooling around she asked, “where do we go from here?” it would seem the answer was straight down to the 7th layer of hell. I know that Rainbow Girl is in a very difficult place right now so I tried to be as nice as I was honest. I told her that despite having a truly wonderful time with her & really liking her, I didn’t think that realistically anything could really come from it due to the distance involved & the practicalities involved: our children, work, money, etc. This is where I started to see a very different Rainbow Girl. She got very shitty, saying “she was just a weekend shag then?” I told her time & again that I didn’t see it anything like that. I thought we were two people who had really enjoyed being with each other & what she was saying cheapened that. Let me get this straight I did not see her as a shag for the weekend, I saw her as a really cool women whose company I enjoyed in & out of the bedroom. Again though I had to point out the fact that it would be all but impossible to try & have some sort of relationship. She refused to accept this & said if she were worth it, I’d make an effort. She became increasingly agitated & nasty. I found myself becoming quite upset by it all, she was making me out as some sort of bastard & I wasn’t having it. She also showed a lot of aggression, at one point stabbing her nails into my arm, which really fucking hurt. Then she says she wants me to make love to her again. I couldn’t & I didn’t. How was I supposed to perform an act of love after that? I told her as much & I went to sleep feeling hurt & bewildered.
Sunday morning seemed better initially though it didn’t last long. We did have sex again at her insistence. I was reluctant but weakly gave in & went through the motions. 24 hours previous the sex was phenomenal, now it was unfeeling like carrying out a chore. How very sad. When finished I went to move, to “pull out”, Rainbow Girl ferociously plunged all her nails into the base of my back. I yelped in pain & told her that it had really hurt, I was extremely pissed off. She didn’t flinch, she just sneered at me telling me that I could only take it out when she said so. There were several other instances of hostility like with her face only an inch from mine smiling at me saying “Thank you for a really lovely Friday & Saturday (her face then twisted with hate) & FUCK YOU FOR A SHITTY SUNDAY”.
There then followed a horrible hour of silence while she got ready to go. The drive to Braintree went quicker than usual. Nice clear motorways allowed me to drive as fast as I could get away with. As we got closer to Braintree she became almost nice again. I had a coffee then left. Strangely we kissed goodbye & she suggested I should come down to her for the weekend. Hmmm. So I left.
As I write this I’m still not sure what happened. We had such a lovely time, full of joy & warmth. We’d spoke of love & trust, she’d said I’d made her feel special & that she hadn’t enjoyed sex like that for years. Then right before my eyes she turned into one of the most dislikeable people I’ve ever met. I know she’s having a very difficult time with life at the moment & I have to allow for that. The poor girl is in a mess & I still feel for her but as I drove away from Essex I decided that I never want to see Rainbow Girl again.
Ever.
And that's what Flash thinks today @ 22:16
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