"I will (erm, won't actually) try to fix you"
By 'eck I'm reet cream-crackered!
As you may already have read; myself, Lordy B & Swiss Toni went to Bolton.
We had a good old chin wag on the way up there, we picked our all time (well, in our lifetimes) England team* & somehow arrived in the car park listening to Def Leppard. Readers, I want you to know I had no part in that choice.
Them two? Perhaps the air's thinner up there! Only kidding guys.
*1. Seamen
A back 4 of...
G.Neville
Pearce (who else? Not even the great Tony Dorigo)
Butcher
Ferdinand (I think, though I recall lobbying for Sol Cambell & noting that if Jonathon Woodgate were not a walking accident he would knock them all into a cocked hat)
A midfield of...
Robson
Gazza
Waddle
Beckham
& a strikeforce of...
Lineker
Shearer
Anyway, upon arrival at the Reebok stadium were we greeted by Lord Bargain's brother & torrential rain. We proceeded into the stadium & it felt quite bizarre to me to be standing right in the middle of Bolton Wanderer's pitch. People were sitting in the dug out! I wanted a go but I never did.
Before I go on to Coldplay I'd just like to make the following statement: All 3 of my companions are utter top men & I thoroughly enjoyed their collective company despite feeling like their pet gnome!
Elbow were the support but they did little for me, I'm sure were it not for the driving rain I may have mustered a bit more enthusiasm for them. There is a photo over at Swiss Toni's place taken at this time.
Coldplay were quite simply stupendous. I feel honoured to have witnessed a band at the peak of their powers. My highlights were "Politik", "God put a smile upon your face" (which had a great wig out sci fi ending type thing going on), "The scientist" (which due to the very personal associations I have with that song caused 2 things to occur: 1. I very nearly cried, 2. I became a borderline fruitloop for in my head I was thinking "Yeah all you thousands can sing it & think it moves you but it doesn't move you like it moves me!", I realised I was being a twat before it finished), "Clocks" (which isn't one of my big faves at all but it sounded mesmeric & masterful), "Talk", "In my place" & "Fix you". They actually played "Fix you" twice because they were filming a video for it's forthcoming single release. Chris Martin did ask us very nicely so it would have been rude not to. Actually a trickle of people left after the first play of it, bloody loonies.
In short; it was ace!
We returned to the car & said farewell to Lordy B's bruv. Then one of Humbert's cousins decided to heap shame upon it's owner. I suggested that we should have Lordy B's pod on shuffle & see what comes out. Oh, how we laughed. For details of the tunes so foul that they can't be mentioned here on my *ahem* cultured pages, go here.
Oh the shame!!!!
Getting home proved to be a bit of a troublesome trek & we arrived back in Nottingham at around 3am. I said my goodbyes & jumped into the Flashmobile. Just before joining the M1 I noticed a nasty little knocking sound coming from the vicinity of the engine. Then the oil light came on so bright that I fear it may have done lasting damage to my retinas.
"Ok the services are less than a mile away, I'll get you some oil, just hold together"
As the last word leapt from my lips there was a bang followed swiftly by a plume of smoke & the loss of all power from the engine. I pulled onto the hard shoulder just in front of the sign saying: services - one third of a mile.
I opened the bonnet & was quite dismayed to see flames, small ones but flames nonetheless.
I soon put them out with the use of some flat diet coke.
Now as a fully paid up member of the League of Stupid People it shouldn't come as a surprise to learn that I don't have breakdown cover.
I know, I know, don't nag me!
Purely because of my close proximity, the old bill came along & towed me & my stricken vehicle to the services. It was now 4am. I set my alarm on my phone for 8 & snuggled down for a brief kip in the car. At 8, I phoned Funny Dance who (god bless him) made himself late for work to come & rescue me. I finally got home at 9.30. I've since had the company of Buddy With Boobs & The Boy till now I am free to totally relax (for relax read get totally fucking shitfaced) for the evening.
In summation then, A top night in the company of some top geezers watching a top band on top form. And then a big old pile of steaming plop.
The prognosis for the Flashmobile??
I'm sorry there is nothing we can do, the Flashmobile is dead.
As you may already have read; myself, Lordy B & Swiss Toni went to Bolton.
We had a good old chin wag on the way up there, we picked our all time (well, in our lifetimes) England team* & somehow arrived in the car park listening to Def Leppard. Readers, I want you to know I had no part in that choice.
Them two? Perhaps the air's thinner up there! Only kidding guys.
*1. Seamen
A back 4 of...
G.Neville
Pearce (who else? Not even the great Tony Dorigo)
Butcher
Ferdinand (I think, though I recall lobbying for Sol Cambell & noting that if Jonathon Woodgate were not a walking accident he would knock them all into a cocked hat)
A midfield of...
Robson
Gazza
Waddle
Beckham
& a strikeforce of...
Lineker
Shearer
Anyway, upon arrival at the Reebok stadium were we greeted by Lord Bargain's brother & torrential rain. We proceeded into the stadium & it felt quite bizarre to me to be standing right in the middle of Bolton Wanderer's pitch. People were sitting in the dug out! I wanted a go but I never did.
Before I go on to Coldplay I'd just like to make the following statement: All 3 of my companions are utter top men & I thoroughly enjoyed their collective company despite feeling like their pet gnome!
Elbow were the support but they did little for me, I'm sure were it not for the driving rain I may have mustered a bit more enthusiasm for them. There is a photo over at Swiss Toni's place taken at this time.
Coldplay were quite simply stupendous. I feel honoured to have witnessed a band at the peak of their powers. My highlights were "Politik", "God put a smile upon your face" (which had a great wig out sci fi ending type thing going on), "The scientist" (which due to the very personal associations I have with that song caused 2 things to occur: 1. I very nearly cried, 2. I became a borderline fruitloop for in my head I was thinking "Yeah all you thousands can sing it & think it moves you but it doesn't move you like it moves me!", I realised I was being a twat before it finished), "Clocks" (which isn't one of my big faves at all but it sounded mesmeric & masterful), "Talk", "In my place" & "Fix you". They actually played "Fix you" twice because they were filming a video for it's forthcoming single release. Chris Martin did ask us very nicely so it would have been rude not to. Actually a trickle of people left after the first play of it, bloody loonies.
In short; it was ace!
We returned to the car & said farewell to Lordy B's bruv. Then one of Humbert's cousins decided to heap shame upon it's owner. I suggested that we should have Lordy B's pod on shuffle & see what comes out. Oh, how we laughed. For details of the tunes so foul that they can't be mentioned here on my *ahem* cultured pages, go here.
Oh the shame!!!!
Getting home proved to be a bit of a troublesome trek & we arrived back in Nottingham at around 3am. I said my goodbyes & jumped into the Flashmobile. Just before joining the M1 I noticed a nasty little knocking sound coming from the vicinity of the engine. Then the oil light came on so bright that I fear it may have done lasting damage to my retinas.
"Ok the services are less than a mile away, I'll get you some oil, just hold together"
As the last word leapt from my lips there was a bang followed swiftly by a plume of smoke & the loss of all power from the engine. I pulled onto the hard shoulder just in front of the sign saying: services - one third of a mile.
I opened the bonnet & was quite dismayed to see flames, small ones but flames nonetheless.
I soon put them out with the use of some flat diet coke.
Now as a fully paid up member of the League of Stupid People it shouldn't come as a surprise to learn that I don't have breakdown cover.
I know, I know, don't nag me!
Purely because of my close proximity, the old bill came along & towed me & my stricken vehicle to the services. It was now 4am. I set my alarm on my phone for 8 & snuggled down for a brief kip in the car. At 8, I phoned Funny Dance who (god bless him) made himself late for work to come & rescue me. I finally got home at 9.30. I've since had the company of Buddy With Boobs & The Boy till now I am free to totally relax (for relax read get totally fucking shitfaced) for the evening.
In summation then, A top night in the company of some top geezers watching a top band on top form. And then a big old pile of steaming plop.
The prognosis for the Flashmobile??
I'm sorry there is nothing we can do, the Flashmobile is dead.
And that's what Flash thinks today @ 19:25
6 Comments:
At 8:05 pm,
swisslet said…
oh no! you poor bugger! that's a nightmare..... (should I say now that it sounded a bit funny when you started it in Nottingham? Yeah, thought I better hadn't....)
Pleased to hear that you are alright anyway. It was an absolute pleasure mate, an absolute pleasure. They rocked a big one, didn't they?
ST
(and a more shameful shuffle I have never heard! Why the hell didn't we seize control and put Humbert on?)
At 8:22 pm,
HistoryGeek said…
At least the Flashmobile can say it went out with a big bang! Better than most of us, I dare say.
Still, that's pretty crappy. I hope the rest of your week is more Coldplay, than auto-breakdowns.
At 9:37 pm,
LB said…
what this young man also fails to mention is that about halfway through the Coldplay set, he is merrily singing along when the guy in front turns round and says" you;re bloody brilliant mate, you should be up there on the stage with them."
though why I should be gracious after your diatribe on my lovely pop records, heaven only knows.
not the best journey, then. yikes. I have never seen the guys in "London's Burning" ever put out a flaming engine fire with Diet Coke either, by the way...
Anyway, glad you enjoyed the show, pixie. heh heh heh
At 10:21 pm,
swisslet said…
by the way....I think we picked Des Walker. Only a pernicious Manchester Utd influence thought we should have Ferdinand.... and he likes Steps, so why should he have the final say? I'd have Terry and Campbell in the current side over Rio. And have Carragher on the bench.....
ST
At 4:48 am,
Mike Davis said…
Seamen - The Early Years, I can live with. But the Seamen that got lobbed 30 yards by Ronaldinho? That left a nasty taste in my mouth.
Fnar Fnar, Ooh err Misses, etc. etc.
At 12:38 pm,
Charby said…
Hurrah for Gary Neville!
He's a legend!
RIP to the Flashmobile!
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