"It's been a long time coming, a long time coming"

(voice of stereotypical voice over bloke)
Ladies & Gentlemen, the wait is over.

The time has finally come for the award ceremony like no other, yes, this year sponsored by Angryseahorse.com who have designed the simply fab new header at the top of the page, it's THE FLASHYS!!!!
(cue rapturous applause)

Let's go out to the red carpet & see who's wearing what & looking hot!
First here is the tres stylish Mr. Mark Reed!!!















Look out, here comes one of the band members! Oops, my mistake it's Chapstick making a rare public appearance!!


















Listen up folks, the crowd are going into a frenzy! Look it's our glamourous co-host the delectable Charby & she's brought some mates with her. Is that Orlando Bloom & Sarah Michelle Gellar? Who cares it's the Charbmeister that were here to see. See how she's berating that geezer from the Daily Sport for suggesting that she "gets 'em out"! Good work missy, now go & kick him square in the nuts!!















Again the crowd are giving it up big style, this time for the "unique" look being paraded by Swiss Toni!!!



















Woah, check out this beauty! The photographers flashbulbs are going into meltdown & it's no surprise when faced with the kind of glamour & beauty that these award shows are all about.
The glamour & beauty that is ADEM!!!!!



















Not to be outdone on the glamour front, it's the lovely, the sweet, the divine...Spins!!!



















Hey up! The fella from the Daily Sport is salivating again &, let's be honest, he's not the only one! Just check out the little minx we all know as Alecya Giovanni. Oo-er missus!!



















Now, our beloved Hyde couldn't make it tonight cos she lives the high life in the big apple, but she sent along her stunt double, Ladies & Gentlemen, may I present NDN dressed up as Hyde!














And here's our host, who was telling me earlier today that he can no longer fit into his glamourous outfit due to the amount of weight he's put on in France, all together now...Who ate all the croissants?, who ate all the croissants?, etc...















Well all the guests have arrived, as they take their seats & set about the complimentary champers lets hand you over to our hosts for the night....the two & only... CHARBY & FLASH!!!!

Good evening everybody, it's a genuine pleasure to see you all here tonight almost as much as it is to be stood next to this beautiful young lady. Are you up for it Charbs?
I'm ready Flash! I can tell already its going to be a great evening! Lets hope everyone enjoys it as much as I will - even the losers!
Who couldn't enjoy an evening in our company, eh?

Ok, let's get on with the show.
I just feel the need to point something out. Although this is the Flashy awards for 2005, releases from the tail end of 2004 will also be considered as they may not have had the opportunity to impress in time for last year's awards. If you don't like it, tough. It's my show. And mine too Flash - don't forget!
Indeed, So what's up first Charby?

The first award of the night is for Best TV show- Nominees are:
Big brother
Doctor Who
The always consistant Match of the day
my surprise hit of the year Lost
and lastly Joey

Excellent, and the winner is...Lost

A richly deserved award if ever there was one. I haven't seen such an enthralling, captivating TV show in many a year. Congratulations to everyone involved with Lost, particularly Evangeline Lilly for whom I have a special prize if she'd like to collect it in person.

Our next award of the evening goes to Best Solo Artist - Despite his best efforts we managed to keep Flash from entering himself into the award!
Thanks Charbs. Last year this coveted prize went to the legend that is Morrissey but who's in the frame this year. The nominees are:
James Blunt (yeah, right)
Paul Weller
Bright Eyes *hums the Art Garfunkel tune, getting a strange look from Flash and appreciative and spontanious applause from the audience*
David Ford
Nik Kershaw (Yes, really)

Big respect going out to David Ford, who claims his second Flashy award. His album is also in the running for the best album award, so maybe he can make it 3 before the night is over.

Hey Flash?
Yes Charbs?
Can I tell you a joke?
Of course, go ahead
What have a laptop & the Premiership got in common?
Dunno
No Leeds!!!
Oh, Ha bloody ha
*Gestures to the audience who give small polite titters, where as the Americans amongst us just look bemused and whisper to each other.*

Moving on swiftly as the DOJ is giving me some VERY evil looks down there, it's now time for the Best Live act award!
As is always on this award, an award can only be given to someone I've actually seen in that time period. So the nominees are:
Coldplay
David Ford
The Kaiser chiefs
The Bluetones
Goldfrapp
Maximo park

And the winner is Coldplay!!
It was a very close call over the Kaisers but maybe seeing Coldplay twice last year swung it. Anyone who hasn't seen Coldplay live should be told that they have a much more robust sound. The begining of "Politik" is immense!
*Mimics snoring noises* Anyway lets move on swiftly or Flash will have us up all night!
Its now time for the best movie category!

Ooh this one will be tough to predict, who are the nominees then Charby?
Hehe, you can tell someone only gets to go to the cinema with young kids - We'll gloss over the fact that I've seen most of them and didnt even have the excuse of being made to watch them with The Boy!
Nominees are:
Star Wars Episode III - Revenge of the Sith
Harry Potter & the Goblet of Fire
Charlie & the Chocolate Factory
Wallace & Gromit in the Curse of the Were-rabbit
Fantastic Four.

And the winner is, au naturellement, Star Wars- Revenge of the Sith. Bloody great piece of cinema, I don't care what anyone else says.
I care! Harry Potter was robbed! Star Wars is geeky! Boo! Bad judging!
Steady on there missy!
Ok so the result of this one was leaked a while ago but we dont care do we Charbs?
*mutters about this all being a fix*
That's right! So the nominees are:
I predict a riot- Kaiser Chiefs
Speed of Sound - Coldplay
Tied up too tight - Hard-Fi
Going missing - Maximo park
Dakota - Stereophonics

And the winner is the barnstorming Dakota! A class song in every way!

Now to the award that has caused me the most pain (& thank crikey that the Artic Monkeys album didn't come out a bit earlier), the final decision has taking me literally months to come to. Two of these bands were so, so close that I very seriously thought about having joint winners. However, that's not the way of things...(looks to Charby sadly)

Awww Poor Flashy!
but they're all winners for getting this far!
Nominees include:
Kaiser Chiefs
Maximo Park
Gnu Cnu - Hmm Who put this one here? *suspicious look in Flash's direction, crowd chant Flash's name*
Hard-Fi
Editors

And the winners are....just.... Maximo Park!!! Big comiserations going out to Hard-Fi! It really was the closest of desicions that in the end came down to the number of skippers per album, despite Hard-Fi's slightly more expansive sound.

Now we come to the 2 most highly coveted awards of the evening, which one is first Charbs?
First of all we have best album, for which there are 10 nominees! and they are as follows.....
A certain trigger - Maximo Park
Playing the angel - Depeche Mode
I'm wide awake it's morning - Bright eyes
Confessions of an idiot - Gnu Cnu *glances at Flash*
X & Y - Coldplay
American Idiot - Green Day
Stars of CCTV - Hard-Fi
Get behind me Satan - The White Stripes
I sincerley apologise for all the trouble I've caused - David Ford
Elevator - Hot Hot Heat

And the winner is American Idiot by Green Day!

Yup, a most deserving award for a most deserving album, & an honourable mention to Coldplay who would've had it if the Flashys were strict on the year thing.
And the final award tonight is the Best band of 2005 award, the one they all want. Who's in the frame Charbs?

well Flash..... We have such names as
Depeche Mode
Coldplay
Hard- Fi
Hot Hot Heat
Maximo Park

the tension is nearly unbearable so please put us and them out of our misery!

The winner of the Flashy award for best band of 2005 is.....

Coldplay!!!

ooh Flash I think the DOJ has just stood up & walked out, is he just disappointed he didnt get a mention?!
Daft apeth! I would imagine it's his anti-Coldplay stance.
Still, look at Swiss & Lordy B go!

Well, that's it for this year, may I thank the lovely tidy arsed Sarf London legend who I have somehow stood next to all night without having a sly grope...the truly wonderful CHARBY!!!!!!!
(cups hand to ear in a Dave Gahan stylee to hear the crowds adulation for the Charbmeister)

And I'd just like to say thanks to Flash for letting me co-host such a presitigious award, next year though I'll be the main host and you can be relegated to award giver-outer *mwahahahaha!*
Mmmph
Right on your way out folks don't forget to place your vote for the most glamourous guest award. Of course Flash has the casting vote, but we'd like to see what you all think
Well, all that remains is to ask....
Who's ready for the aftershow PARRR_TAAAAYYY???
Yeee-haaa! Who's gonna get to that free bar first? Me or Hyde?!
And more importantly who's gonna be first for a private meeting in my dressing room???