"I HATE YOU SO MUCH RIGHT NOW!"

My blood is boiling.
What the fuck was I thinking all those years ago when I agreed to marry that vile, wretched bitch?

My son is ill at the moment, he suffers from Asthma. He hasn't been troubled by it for some time, but it's flared up pretty bad. His mother took him to the doctors this afternoon; he's been given some stronger medication & if that hasn't helped it settle down by the end of tonight then he may have to go into hospital.
I looked after him this morning at mine & though he's wheezing & coughing a lot, he remains in reasonably high spirits.

As my hideous ex-wife was telling me all that an hour or so ago, she also slotted in that because I smoke it's "willful neglect & abuse". Now, before I go any further, I must point out that I DO NOT smoke around The Boy. When he's at mine I smoke in my bedroom with the door firmly closed & the window open. My bedroom is strictly off-limits to The Boy for that very reason.
So; Willful neglect & abuse.
Naturally, I did not take that very well.
My words were along the lines of... How dare you say that to me? Shortly afterwards I hung up on her.

Unfortunately, there was some unfinished business. I rang her back, make the arrangements & then ended the conversation by warning her that I intend to seek legal advice because I do not want to deal with her anymore.

Of course, she wouldn't let it lie there. She phoned some minutes later saying that if I was to take that path it would mean my access to The Boy being greatly reduced & that I would be expected to explain to him why he wasn't seeing as much of me as he's used to. All without bad-mouthing her.

It's been left for now, but for a couple of shitty texts she has sent me.

The thing is this is not unusual behaviour for Temper Tantrum, I let so much go because I like a quiet life & have little stomach for a fight.
A couple of weeks ago she rang me out of the blue one evening & opened the exchange with "Hello Flash it's Temper Tantrum, you're going to have to start coming round here in the evening now & again so that I can go out".
What?
"You can, in theory, go out every night if you so desire while I'm stuck in & I can't afford a babysitter."
To be honest, if she had have asked me if I'd be willing to do that for her I may have begrudingly agreed. But she didn't ask, she demanded.
So I told her No. I am not her babysitter
"You're his father, you have a responsibility!"
Yes I do, and I feel I already fulfill that responsibility more than adequately.
Of course, this made me a selfish bastard.
Naturally.

Right now I am absolutely incandescent with burning rage. A rage that I have no outlet for.
My life is difficult enough at the moment, but I can deal with the bailiffs threatening me, I can cope with the excruiatingly dull dead end job that I have to do, I can handle the worry of not having bought a single Christmas present yet, I can just about manage to carrying on living on a pittance because my outgoings are greater than I earn & I can even deal with a representative of the magistrates court knocking on my door today to present me with a £430 fine from March 2004 that I (100% honestly) had no prior knowledge of.
I can deal with all those things because I do have it in my power to change all that (somehow!).

I cannot change the venomous attitude of the one person in my life that I really, really do wish I had never set eyes on.
And bearing in mind what I said in the last paragraph, I cannot afford a lawyer. So I really don't see a way out.
Should I kill her?