"Just 'cos you feel it doesn't mean it's there"
Better try & make some sense out of the weekend, eh?
After a mini sleep on Friday I set off for Crapsville to collect Buddy With Boobs for our trip to London. All went well & we had quite a laugh on the train. We got to Brixton a bit early for my liking & had to endure a 2-hour wait in the venue. Being an experienced gigger I very rarely get into the venue until just prior to the band coming on. The next 90 minutes or so were totally life affirming. There’s nobody else quite like The White Stripes. Jack is quite simply a god & the huge sound that is created by just the 2 of them is truly awe-inspiring. And when Meg took the spotlight for “In the cold, cold night” there was no other woman in the world that mattered & man, did she look hot! The final volley of songs really cemented their place at my musical top table. Only Radiohead, Muse & Depeche mode have had a similar effect on me live. Buddy With Boobs seemed to enjoy it but didn’t get excited or giddy or passionate. It drove the point home that despite how much I deeply care for her (which I do) I could never imagine sharing my life with her. I’ve never really known her to be passionate about anything. Passion matters to me. The journey home was uneventful & that was Friday.
I woke Saturday lunchtime (at last a good quality sleep) & joined Reckless & Dream Girl in the kitchen for coffee. They presented me with 2 tickets to go & see Duran Duran in April. Ace! Both have already, without each other’s knowledge, quietly staked their claims for the other ticket. This could be fun. After a day of blissfully doing nothing the time came for us to hit the town. We got quite stoned prior to leaving & this set us up for a wonderful 3 or 4 hours filled with lots of smiles & laughter. However by about 11 by mood started to change. The main reason for this was that nobody else came. People from work simply never bothered & even Funny Dance & They Used To Be Even Bigger couldn’t make it. This was exactly the same as last year when it was just me, Reckless & Dream Girl. I’m clearly nowhere near as popular as I like to think I am. It also became apparent that I’d hardly noticed a single woman in the place because I had been totally captivated & bewitched by Dream Girl. I’ve found before that going out with a view to pulling is a fruitless exercise when in Dream Girl’s company. I just don’t see anyone else, why would I when the woman who could’ve been scientifically designed to be my perfect partner is sitting with me.
So I decided that I’d like to go home. It didn’t take long for the head-spinning drunkenness to force me to apologetically stumble towards bed. As soon as I left the living room something hit me with the ferocity of a scud missile & I started to cry. I dashed to my room, collapsed on the bed & proceeded to cry like a baby. I sobbed uncontrollably for what felt hours till I must have drifted into sleep. I don’t quite know why it happened, probably a build up of recent tensions, my confidence hitting an all time low & the obvious futility of my feelings for Dream Girl. I do know that it hurt like hell & I desperately wanted to feel someone’s arms around me, telling me it was all going to be alright.
Sunday passed without incident & I had a nice day with The Boy. He really is the reason why I carry on. No matter how low I get I know that he needs me & that he loves me unconditionally. As I do him. He brings joy where there is pain & one day when he’s old enough to understand I’ll tell him of all the times he got me out of the emotional mire of life.So one month into this diary & you must think I’m a right miserable bastard. I don’t blame you but really I’m not! I’m probably one of the most happy-go-lucky people you could ever wish to meet but I am going through a really tough time at the moment. Don’t give up on me yet; we’ll get through this together ok?
After a mini sleep on Friday I set off for Crapsville to collect Buddy With Boobs for our trip to London. All went well & we had quite a laugh on the train. We got to Brixton a bit early for my liking & had to endure a 2-hour wait in the venue. Being an experienced gigger I very rarely get into the venue until just prior to the band coming on. The next 90 minutes or so were totally life affirming. There’s nobody else quite like The White Stripes. Jack is quite simply a god & the huge sound that is created by just the 2 of them is truly awe-inspiring. And when Meg took the spotlight for “In the cold, cold night” there was no other woman in the world that mattered & man, did she look hot! The final volley of songs really cemented their place at my musical top table. Only Radiohead, Muse & Depeche mode have had a similar effect on me live. Buddy With Boobs seemed to enjoy it but didn’t get excited or giddy or passionate. It drove the point home that despite how much I deeply care for her (which I do) I could never imagine sharing my life with her. I’ve never really known her to be passionate about anything. Passion matters to me. The journey home was uneventful & that was Friday.
I woke Saturday lunchtime (at last a good quality sleep) & joined Reckless & Dream Girl in the kitchen for coffee. They presented me with 2 tickets to go & see Duran Duran in April. Ace! Both have already, without each other’s knowledge, quietly staked their claims for the other ticket. This could be fun. After a day of blissfully doing nothing the time came for us to hit the town. We got quite stoned prior to leaving & this set us up for a wonderful 3 or 4 hours filled with lots of smiles & laughter. However by about 11 by mood started to change. The main reason for this was that nobody else came. People from work simply never bothered & even Funny Dance & They Used To Be Even Bigger couldn’t make it. This was exactly the same as last year when it was just me, Reckless & Dream Girl. I’m clearly nowhere near as popular as I like to think I am. It also became apparent that I’d hardly noticed a single woman in the place because I had been totally captivated & bewitched by Dream Girl. I’ve found before that going out with a view to pulling is a fruitless exercise when in Dream Girl’s company. I just don’t see anyone else, why would I when the woman who could’ve been scientifically designed to be my perfect partner is sitting with me.
So I decided that I’d like to go home. It didn’t take long for the head-spinning drunkenness to force me to apologetically stumble towards bed. As soon as I left the living room something hit me with the ferocity of a scud missile & I started to cry. I dashed to my room, collapsed on the bed & proceeded to cry like a baby. I sobbed uncontrollably for what felt hours till I must have drifted into sleep. I don’t quite know why it happened, probably a build up of recent tensions, my confidence hitting an all time low & the obvious futility of my feelings for Dream Girl. I do know that it hurt like hell & I desperately wanted to feel someone’s arms around me, telling me it was all going to be alright.
Sunday passed without incident & I had a nice day with The Boy. He really is the reason why I carry on. No matter how low I get I know that he needs me & that he loves me unconditionally. As I do him. He brings joy where there is pain & one day when he’s old enough to understand I’ll tell him of all the times he got me out of the emotional mire of life.So one month into this diary & you must think I’m a right miserable bastard. I don’t blame you but really I’m not! I’m probably one of the most happy-go-lucky people you could ever wish to meet but I am going through a really tough time at the moment. Don’t give up on me yet; we’ll get through this together ok?
And that's what Flash thinks today @ 01:30
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home