"I just wanna cut some rug"

Ok, so on Friday I had to take The Boy to meet Our Kid at Trowell services on the M1 which is approximately halfway between Crapsville & my native Wakefield. Sadly my car had other ideas &, to cut a long story short, the engine pretty much blew up. I managed to get off the motorway and on to the slip road at J22 (some 10 miles north west of Leicester). I rolled the car down to the very bottom of the slip road where it was safe & well out of the way of any traffic. Our Kid came down to us & took The Boy off to Yorkshire. After several minutes & a phone call to Reckless it became clear that the car wasn’t going to move again. So reluctantly I left it there & wondered how I’d get to Northampton where I was staying that night. My luck changed here as a friendly bus driver who was not in service kindly took me into Leicester city centre. From there I got a train to Kettering where Reckless came to pick me up. This is where my weekend began.
On arriving at their home I gave Noisy But Sweet her birthday present & once the kids were in bed we set about the vodka & the wiz. We had a fun night, Reckless got the guitar out & we did a few tunes (of which “Haunted” was a major highlight). As the night drew on I became more & more aware that I was struggling to suppress my love for Dream Girl. I went to the loo & had a word with myself. What am I doing? Why am I putting myself through this? And of course, what do I hope to achieve? For once I came up with an answer that I couldn’t argue with: To always be this happy.
That’s right; even though I know our lips will probably never meet again I am always happy when she’s around me. She lights me up.
Having said that, there is always the immense disappointment of saying goodnight.
The next morning Reckless drove me back to Crapsville in time for the rendezvous with the London Baby posse. This was damn nice of him & he even made me a big spliff to have on my travels.
So I picked up my bag & went to meet the guys. I had coerced Funny Dance into driving us all to the station in his MPV. 2 of the 8 never showed up so the full posse was: Namesake, In The Same Boat, Babyface, Sound But Spitty, 50% & myself.
We arrived at the hotel at 12:30 & were in the pub round the corner by 12:35. From here we proceeded to visit 5 or 6 more pubs in the afternoon drinking gallons of beer between us.
After a quick change at the hotel is was time for the big night out. We started in Soho where we accidentally went into 2 gay bars (“hang on a minute… there are NO women!”), we then went into another bar where we decided that we would go to another part of London that had been recommended to us earlier in the day. As there were 6 of us we had to get 2 taxis, this gave me the opportunity to jump in the second one & exclaim, “Follow that cab!” I’ve always wanted to do that!
We reached our destination & went in a couple more bars before we accosted 2 very attractive girls who were waiting for a bus. We asked their advice as Namesake wanted to go to stringfellows but most of us were sure it would be too pricey. They told us there was a good club just round the corner & that stringfellows would be very expensive. Sound But Spitty told them that we wanted “somewhere where the girls were really hot, you two are alright but we want REALLY hot women”. The other 5 of us walked off, heads bowed in same, not quite believing how he’d just insulted the nicest girls we’d met yet.
We went to the club the girls had suggested, the 333, it seemed pretty cool. Now as regular readers now I love music with a passion. I have never really liked dance music though but my god the dj in that place was worth his salt! I started dancing half-heartedly but soon I was grooving like an unstoppable grooving thing! I danced solidly for about 3 hours! I was on the jazz & I even had a spell strutting my stuff on the stage. I also had a little snog! As I was dancing I kept catching the eye of this woman, soon there were smiles, then a wink or two & finally she beckoned me toward her. I haven’t been beckoned for ages! Unfortunately the downside of my dance-a-thon was that I was perspiring like a particularly sweaty pig who’d just oinked his way out of a sauna. My shirt was drenched. As my lips joined hers I felt her hand go on my back & the kissing soon stopped. She was very nice but I think she was alarmed at how drenched I was & I couldn’t blame her. To be honest I really wasn’t bothered I just carried on dancing & when the DJ slipped “enjoy the silence” in there I was all but orgasmic. It was probably the best club experience I’ve ever had. Nice.
Eventually around 2am I started flaking a bit & just stood around for a bit until at about 3.15 we left. As we regrouped outside this dodgy geezer approached us & asked if we “wanted anything”. I said it was a bit bloody late now but then realised we still had Sunday & the Church to do yet. So a deal was done & some pills were acquired. He left & I examined my narcotics to find them to be brown which is rarely a good sign. Anyway we got a taxi & finally landed in our hotel beds at 4ish. It had been a marvellous day & not for the last time it was pronounced that Flash was the daddy. Yay!

To be continued…