"Don't get any big ideas, they're not gonna happen"
Right, let’s take it day by day;
THURSDAY – On Thursday I was given a final written warning at work. This is bad. Now you may remember a few weeks back I met a girl called Sexy Shy Smile, the night I met her was a bit mad & by 5am that morning it was clear that I wasn’t going to work. Now in my drunken state I texted my supervisor to tell him I wouldn’t be in because I was with a rather smashing girl – stupid! The company viewed this as gross dereliction of duty & could’ve sacked me. What a silly, silly boy I am.
FRIDAY- The day started abysmally. My car was a petrol free zone so I had to walk down to the garage with my trusty green plastic buddy. It was absolutely pissing it down but it was only a five-minute walk. However that particular petrol station was closed (BOLLOCKS!) so a further 10-minute walk ensued. By the time I got back to the car I was wetter than an otter’s pocket. Off I went to Northampton to collect Dream Girl & off to London we went. Soon as we were in the car she dropped a huge bombshell: They are thinking of emigrating to Sweden. Though Dream Girl was raised in the north of England she was born in Sweden & lived there till the age of 4. This means she has full rights & status in her homeland. Initially I was mortified, I cannot imagine how utterly crap my life would be without her & Reckless in it but I soon realised that it was mostly pie in the sky (her words) & that as an absolute minimum were talking 2 years before any such plan can come to fruition so it’s gone right to the back of my mind. We had a lovely morning walking round “town”. We talked & laughed the whole morning. It’s clear that Dream Girl has rarely been to London & needs a day of sightseeing down there (watch this space).
The Swedish embassy, or at least the passport bit of it, was very unglamorous & they were no Swedish hot babes at all other than the one I was with. I did take the opportunity to measure my height there though. I stand proud at 5 foot 7 and a half inches. Dream Girl had to be back in Northampton for 3 so we were on our way back by 12.30. During the 2 or 3 hours we were there we interacted with about 5 or 6 people of these only one had a English accent & she was so rude! When we returned to the car at Highgate I suggested we give our travel cards away as we had no further use for them. So I offered mine to this woman & she looked at me like I’d offered her the opportunity to lick my arse & replied with a curt “Don’t think so”. Dream Girl gave hers to the next person we saw & her recipient was very grateful & happy with our act of kindness, she had a foreign accent too.
As I had no plans for the rest of the day I decided to stay in Northampton & hang with the guys for the rest of the day, we had a few drinks & a few spliffs & then they went to bed. They had a little hug before they got off the sofa & with her head on Reckless’ shoulder she mouthed “night” to me & looked at me in that “I know” kind of way. I love & hate that look with equal passion. I always end up feeling really shit when I’ve spent the day with her, entertaining her, making her feel as special as she deserves & then have to watch her go off to bed with Reckless. I stayed up a while & watched a film called “I am Sam”. I cried like a girl, what a wonderfully moving film & a fantastic piece of acting from Sean Penn. Good work fella!
SATURDAY – I was awoken by the sound of Darth Vader’s theme meaning only one thing: Temper Tantrum on the phone. Did I want to take The Boy to Legoland with her? Despite my concerns I agreed. So off I went back to Crapsville. We went in her car but I drove at her suggestion. It turned out to be a smashing day; The Boy had a wonderful time. The Lego displays are nothing short of spectacular, particularly the one of London. As we left The Boy asked rather curiously why we hadn’t argued because we usually always argue. How sad.
On the M40, as we headed home, her car died. There was a clicking noise then a loud clicking noise & then smoke then nothing. She called her breakdown people at 19.40 they arrived at 20.50. They towed us off the motorway at the next exit & left us there telling us we had to wait for another truck. The other truck arrived an hour later & we finally got back to Crapsville just before midnight. What an absolute shambles! I pity the poor sod who is gonna have to deal with Temper Tantrum’s wrath when she phones to complain. Despite her being livid at the situation she remained surprisingly pleasant towards me the whole time. There must have been a fuse blown in her head somewhere that couldn’t comprehend the fact that none of the drama was my fault. There were many such calamities during our 10 years together & they were ALWAYS my fault. I was quietly smug that no fingers could be pointed my way.
SUNDAY - Thankfully Sunday was refreshingly mellow, caught up on the footy (Thank god for Danny Pugh), went to a car boot sale where The Boy got a cuddly R2 D2 that beeps & whistles when you squeeze it & did my shopping which included the purchase of Embrace’s “Out of nothing” album.
MONDAY – Work was ok again, bought the Star Wars trilogy on DVD (Yay!) & then last night took Funny Dance to the pub to watch Man U vs. Liverpool. It was good to catch up as I hadn’t seen him for weeks. He & They Used To Be Even Bigger are expecting another baby despite this Funny Dance is becoming some sort of all conquering shagging machine & currently has 3 other women on the go. I’m ashamed, jealous & proud of him all at the same time. Some of the London Baby! guys were also in the pub & they’re all getting excited about this weekend's impending festivities & so am I. In The Same Boat was out with his little brother, Manchild who is 17 & a nice lad but typically 17. He was telling me that he’s got 2 girls he’s seeing at the mo & with great pride he told me that one of them is 33, fit, no kids, has her own place & is a friend of Fountain Dweller’s girlfriend. Sound familiar, readers?
Yes it’s Sexy Shy Smile!!
Has anyone noticed this comment on my blog?
At 22:19, redhairblueface said...
When the starving people of Ethiopia learn how to eat blogs, I hope they get yours first.
Well redhairpooface, so do I. As it is crammed full of nourishing goodness it would no doubt be gratefully recieved.
Honestly folks what is that about?
Is it supposed to be funny?
Is it an insult that i should feel wounded by?
Is it an attempt to fleece my good readers into viewing the blog of redhairpooface?
By the way, I usally click on the name of any comment leavers straight away as I like to know who's reading but in your case i shall make an exception.
THURSDAY – On Thursday I was given a final written warning at work. This is bad. Now you may remember a few weeks back I met a girl called Sexy Shy Smile, the night I met her was a bit mad & by 5am that morning it was clear that I wasn’t going to work. Now in my drunken state I texted my supervisor to tell him I wouldn’t be in because I was with a rather smashing girl – stupid! The company viewed this as gross dereliction of duty & could’ve sacked me. What a silly, silly boy I am.
FRIDAY- The day started abysmally. My car was a petrol free zone so I had to walk down to the garage with my trusty green plastic buddy. It was absolutely pissing it down but it was only a five-minute walk. However that particular petrol station was closed (BOLLOCKS!) so a further 10-minute walk ensued. By the time I got back to the car I was wetter than an otter’s pocket. Off I went to Northampton to collect Dream Girl & off to London we went. Soon as we were in the car she dropped a huge bombshell: They are thinking of emigrating to Sweden. Though Dream Girl was raised in the north of England she was born in Sweden & lived there till the age of 4. This means she has full rights & status in her homeland. Initially I was mortified, I cannot imagine how utterly crap my life would be without her & Reckless in it but I soon realised that it was mostly pie in the sky (her words) & that as an absolute minimum were talking 2 years before any such plan can come to fruition so it’s gone right to the back of my mind. We had a lovely morning walking round “town”. We talked & laughed the whole morning. It’s clear that Dream Girl has rarely been to London & needs a day of sightseeing down there (watch this space).
The Swedish embassy, or at least the passport bit of it, was very unglamorous & they were no Swedish hot babes at all other than the one I was with. I did take the opportunity to measure my height there though. I stand proud at 5 foot 7 and a half inches. Dream Girl had to be back in Northampton for 3 so we were on our way back by 12.30. During the 2 or 3 hours we were there we interacted with about 5 or 6 people of these only one had a English accent & she was so rude! When we returned to the car at Highgate I suggested we give our travel cards away as we had no further use for them. So I offered mine to this woman & she looked at me like I’d offered her the opportunity to lick my arse & replied with a curt “Don’t think so”. Dream Girl gave hers to the next person we saw & her recipient was very grateful & happy with our act of kindness, she had a foreign accent too.
As I had no plans for the rest of the day I decided to stay in Northampton & hang with the guys for the rest of the day, we had a few drinks & a few spliffs & then they went to bed. They had a little hug before they got off the sofa & with her head on Reckless’ shoulder she mouthed “night” to me & looked at me in that “I know” kind of way. I love & hate that look with equal passion. I always end up feeling really shit when I’ve spent the day with her, entertaining her, making her feel as special as she deserves & then have to watch her go off to bed with Reckless. I stayed up a while & watched a film called “I am Sam”. I cried like a girl, what a wonderfully moving film & a fantastic piece of acting from Sean Penn. Good work fella!
SATURDAY – I was awoken by the sound of Darth Vader’s theme meaning only one thing: Temper Tantrum on the phone. Did I want to take The Boy to Legoland with her? Despite my concerns I agreed. So off I went back to Crapsville. We went in her car but I drove at her suggestion. It turned out to be a smashing day; The Boy had a wonderful time. The Lego displays are nothing short of spectacular, particularly the one of London. As we left The Boy asked rather curiously why we hadn’t argued because we usually always argue. How sad.
On the M40, as we headed home, her car died. There was a clicking noise then a loud clicking noise & then smoke then nothing. She called her breakdown people at 19.40 they arrived at 20.50. They towed us off the motorway at the next exit & left us there telling us we had to wait for another truck. The other truck arrived an hour later & we finally got back to Crapsville just before midnight. What an absolute shambles! I pity the poor sod who is gonna have to deal with Temper Tantrum’s wrath when she phones to complain. Despite her being livid at the situation she remained surprisingly pleasant towards me the whole time. There must have been a fuse blown in her head somewhere that couldn’t comprehend the fact that none of the drama was my fault. There were many such calamities during our 10 years together & they were ALWAYS my fault. I was quietly smug that no fingers could be pointed my way.
SUNDAY - Thankfully Sunday was refreshingly mellow, caught up on the footy (Thank god for Danny Pugh), went to a car boot sale where The Boy got a cuddly R2 D2 that beeps & whistles when you squeeze it & did my shopping which included the purchase of Embrace’s “Out of nothing” album.
MONDAY – Work was ok again, bought the Star Wars trilogy on DVD (Yay!) & then last night took Funny Dance to the pub to watch Man U vs. Liverpool. It was good to catch up as I hadn’t seen him for weeks. He & They Used To Be Even Bigger are expecting another baby despite this Funny Dance is becoming some sort of all conquering shagging machine & currently has 3 other women on the go. I’m ashamed, jealous & proud of him all at the same time. Some of the London Baby! guys were also in the pub & they’re all getting excited about this weekend's impending festivities & so am I. In The Same Boat was out with his little brother, Manchild who is 17 & a nice lad but typically 17. He was telling me that he’s got 2 girls he’s seeing at the mo & with great pride he told me that one of them is 33, fit, no kids, has her own place & is a friend of Fountain Dweller’s girlfriend. Sound familiar, readers?
Yes it’s Sexy Shy Smile!!
Has anyone noticed this comment on my blog?
At 22:19, redhairblueface said...
When the starving people of Ethiopia learn how to eat blogs, I hope they get yours first.
Well redhairpooface, so do I. As it is crammed full of nourishing goodness it would no doubt be gratefully recieved.
Honestly folks what is that about?
Is it supposed to be funny?
Is it an insult that i should feel wounded by?
Is it an attempt to fleece my good readers into viewing the blog of redhairpooface?
By the way, I usally click on the name of any comment leavers straight away as I like to know who's reading but in your case i shall make an exception.
And that's what Flash thinks today @ 14:57
3 Comments:
At 7:15 pm,
Charby said…
I was curious and investigated!
He's some kinda random dick that just randomly leaves random comments on random blogs.
(Wow is that a record for the most use of the word random in one sentence?)
At 9:35 pm,
Flash said…
Charby, I think it may well be!
At 2:49 am,
shorty said…
Ah, I feel for you Flash. That totally sucks about Sexy Shy Girl, but obviously she doesn't have her priorities straight. You have to keep thinking to yourself, her loss. Now, your life seems to be up and down these days. It has to be turning around soon. I'm pulling for you. :-)
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