"Where to? Where do I go?"
Double A side posts coming at you today!
A
Nice.
The whole thing with Nice is affecting me in an odd way.
We hung out friday afternoon, she stayed over saturday night & she came round yesterday afternoon for a couple of hours.
I'm also expecting her shortly.
Nice is lovely, she has a wonderful smile & is always happy & jolly. She is very good at the sex. And is particularly skilled in certain "procedures", if you know what I mean.
She's 25 & she likes a spliff, in fact she's a self confessed stoner. She smokes much more than I do. The upside of this is we have a lot of fun together & sexual responses are heightened.
The downside is that I do like to carefully regulate how much I smoke because coupled with my laziness being perma-stoned is a recipe for disaster.
In some ways I don't like how I've been with her. I've been extremely guarded & extra careful not to show any signs of this thing actually going anywhere. In truth, I'm scared. I do like her a lot & in the last hour yesterday we had a really good, fun talk. I commented that it was almost a shame that we'd gone straight into the sex, before the getting to know each better stage.
There are a couple of things that simply are not right.
Firstly, Nice is quite a big girl. Not huge, but she's a little taller than me & a fair bit "rounder" than I am. I know this shows me up to be extremley shallow, but I can't help worrying that I'm selling myself a little short in the attractiveness stakes. Is that really bad?
Secondly & indeed comically; she's me! She openly admits to being utterly shite at dealing with the practicalities of life, her prefferred way of dealing with things is to hide from them or ignore them. She hates confrontation & will go to absurd lengths to avoid upsetting people or putting herself in a negative light. We joked yesterday that we would make a dreadful couple & that we'd end up living on the streets within weeks!
In fairness to her, this is all a major thing in her life. She said yesterday that she feels like she's suddenly living somebody else's life. That this sort of thing just doesn't happen in her world.
I feel very strongly that I am going to do everything I can do to make sure she doesn't get hurt, no matter what course this follows. I like her too much to treat her in a bad way.
Anyway, we shall see what happens, in the meantime though...
*singing* I'm just a love machine....
A
Nice.
The whole thing with Nice is affecting me in an odd way.
We hung out friday afternoon, she stayed over saturday night & she came round yesterday afternoon for a couple of hours.
I'm also expecting her shortly.
Nice is lovely, she has a wonderful smile & is always happy & jolly. She is very good at the sex. And is particularly skilled in certain "procedures", if you know what I mean.
She's 25 & she likes a spliff, in fact she's a self confessed stoner. She smokes much more than I do. The upside of this is we have a lot of fun together & sexual responses are heightened.
The downside is that I do like to carefully regulate how much I smoke because coupled with my laziness being perma-stoned is a recipe for disaster.
In some ways I don't like how I've been with her. I've been extremely guarded & extra careful not to show any signs of this thing actually going anywhere. In truth, I'm scared. I do like her a lot & in the last hour yesterday we had a really good, fun talk. I commented that it was almost a shame that we'd gone straight into the sex, before the getting to know each better stage.
There are a couple of things that simply are not right.
Firstly, Nice is quite a big girl. Not huge, but she's a little taller than me & a fair bit "rounder" than I am. I know this shows me up to be extremley shallow, but I can't help worrying that I'm selling myself a little short in the attractiveness stakes. Is that really bad?
Secondly & indeed comically; she's me! She openly admits to being utterly shite at dealing with the practicalities of life, her prefferred way of dealing with things is to hide from them or ignore them. She hates confrontation & will go to absurd lengths to avoid upsetting people or putting herself in a negative light. We joked yesterday that we would make a dreadful couple & that we'd end up living on the streets within weeks!
In fairness to her, this is all a major thing in her life. She said yesterday that she feels like she's suddenly living somebody else's life. That this sort of thing just doesn't happen in her world.
I feel very strongly that I am going to do everything I can do to make sure she doesn't get hurt, no matter what course this follows. I like her too much to treat her in a bad way.
Anyway, we shall see what happens, in the meantime though...
*singing* I'm just a love machine....
And that's what Flash thinks today @ 15:06
15 Comments:
At 3:30 pm,
sunshine said…
Well you already know my position on the whole thing.
You just can't help it...you are a heartbreaker.
At 25, in a relationship and coming to you to "seek" attention.
You are everything she "needs" right now. Don't use her for your "needs". Not saying you will.
Thats bound to be a recipe for disaster.
Tread lightly. Enjoy the sex...but don't forget, she's NICE and not just a hole.
ooooooo
At 5:11 pm,
HistoryGeek said…
Oh my, sunshine! But, yes, an important thing to remember.
It sounds like you are both having a good time right now...
I don't have any sage advice, but I do understand your worries.
At 5:15 pm,
Charby said…
Nice and not just a hole!
LOL!
I'm so remembering that one!
At 7:58 pm,
Hyde said…
I have a lot of thoughts on this one, but I will try to keep it relatively brief (which you know is hard for me!)
1.) She's an adult and can take care of herself, but remember one thing about girls--if you have sex with her over a period of time, she WILL develop complicated feelings for you and she WILL get hurt if you reject her in the end. If you know you don't want this in the long run, don't let it drag on just for lack of anything better. If you're not into her, you had your fun. End it there.
2.)In terms of you two being "bad" for each other and winding up as major stoners, that sounds very similar to Narc's fear of a relationship with me. I think it's unfounded. I think that in a day to day relationship, those hedonistic pleasures (sex, drugs and all the rest) quietly lessen and become part of a routine and do not conquer all. Right now she's associating you with partying and fun and her drug-side is probably more visible than it would be if you had a day to day friendship/relationship.
3.) In terms of "selling yourself short," either you're attracted to her or you're not, right? If you are, who cares what anyone else thinks. If you're not, you'll end up hurting her (and her self-esteem). She's exposing herself naked and sexually to you and that's not always easy to do. Keep that in mind...
The bottom line-- Sex is fun, but Sunshine and I have long been questing after the key to "emotionless" sex, and as far as I know, it remains elusive.
Okay, that wasn't so brief after all. Sorry! I am anxiously awaiting future posts!
lol
Hyde
At 8:05 pm,
sunshine said…
As was once told to me and I quote:
"If I play with your pussy, its like playing with your heart"
As per Hydes comment....Emotionless sex. I have had it, just with one person and the way I did it was to not get to know him. Not necessarily a one night stand, but get in and get out. No Pun intended.
Still it's a touchy subject and one I hope to gain strength in obtaining all the secrets of emotionless sex.
UGH. Sex....Glad some people are getting it.
At 9:19 pm,
swisslet said…
the fact you wrote this stuff speaks volumes about what you really think mate. You are a decent person, and I'm sure you'll know what to do. Don't second guess it, but don't ignore it.
ST
(oh, and the "fix you" video is up on coldplay.com and fuck me if they haven't miked you up at the end mate!)
At 9:56 pm,
Erika said…
As a "rounder" girl, I'm bristling mildly at the implication that "rounder" girls are somehow less of a catch than less round girls. I get the whole "you're not entirely attracted to her", based on her earlier nickname, but did you really intend the subtext? Selling yourself short BECAUSE she's "rounder"? It's a bit worrying, mate. How ever are you going to maintain your cyberstalking of me if this is true? (:op)
At 10:24 pm,
swisslet said…
Ka, if you are the same shape as Nice, then Flash will be more than happy, I would imagine.
Right Flash??
ST
At 10:41 pm,
HistoryGeek said…
I do have to agree with Ka that this has been nagging on me a bit, as well. But I have to hope that this also reflects more of the "we should have gotten to know one another better" issue.
I actually am not surprised with this attitude though. I think a lot more people worry about how the "roundness" of their partner will reflect on them than many other factors.
At 3:17 am,
Anonymous said…
I think you and Nice should cut back on the pot and switch to wine. That should also help with the attractiveness problem.
At 7:40 am,
Flash said…
To Ka,
Having just seen a piccy of you at Stand by your statue, You are not of a size I would describe as "rounder". Nice is a BIG girl, considerably bigger than your not very big at all shape.
I know this all makes me sound like a bit of a nob, but I'm trying to be honest about how I feel.
It's all a bit difficult.
At 3:27 pm,
LavaLady said…
Have fun, be careful, and BE CAREFUL.
But have fun first.
At 3:52 pm,
Dzesika said…
It's far better to end it now while you can still be friends than to let her become attached to you and then dump her because you think she's 'fat'.
I say this having been on both ends of that statement, and having been both considerably bigger and considerably smaller than I am now.
It sounds like the weight is the biggest issue for you. On the one hand, I want to say for shame, and on the other hand I want to say I realise that's the way most people think. Which, quite frankly, sucks. But anyway.
At 7:40 pm,
Erika said…
What Dzesika said...
If her weight is that big an issue, Flashman, then end it now. Just make sure it's because you're not attracted to her and not because she's fat, because otherwise you're One Of Them. Buh buh BUH!
I understand completely, for what it's worth. I had a really amazing blind date with a boy last
autumn who was everything I had ever professed to want in a partner, but who just happened to be easily 350 pounds. I tried so very hard to get over the fact because the boy! the boy! but eventually you have to concede that you aren't attracted to someone no matter how wonderful they are. And then you spend the next year feeling petty and superficial...
At 8:34 pm,
HistoryGeek said…
Since there's nothing new here to read yet, I feel the need to keep up the comments.
I do agree with Dzesika and Ka have said...although I would modify to say that what's difficult for us rounder chicks to get is that many people don't find fat attractive. It is a hard fact that I take way too personally, too often.
That said, I will add that it does seem like there's a bit of jumping the gun...Flash is sleeping with a girl who's already involved, so they aren't dating. We don't know that they will date or that Nice will end her relationship.
You may want to be clear about some of these things (a good reason to delay the pot for a conversation), though...because it might be good that she understands what you do or don't want out of any future friendship/relationship with her. Things can change quickly.
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