"Oh l'amour" (Yes, I'm struggling now!)

Hello my babies! How are you all doing?

I have to say I absolutely loathe my current blog exile, it is tearing at my very soul. To make matters worse, the computer I have been using at work (which allowed me to have a nose around the neighbourhood & even a little post here & there) was stolen last week! Merde!

Nice came out to Lyon for the weekend, we had a smashing time. Having done all the tourist stuff the last time she came, we were free to spend most of our time in either the pub or the hotel room. We had an afternoon of shopping on Friday, which ended up with me buying a couple of new tops, some rather smashing orange trainers & a belt adorned with the extremely pertinent legend; I'm not completely worthless, I can be used as a bad example. C'est bon, no?

Saturday I was called into work for the morning which was a bit of a pisser. When I got back to the hotel & after a sneaky yet potent spliff, the 2 of us made our way to the old town where we had a very scrummy English breakfast in the pub, it was abso-chuffing-lutely delicious! We then settled into place at The Smoking Dog for an afternoon of football & beer. We were joined by 2 of my English colleagues. One of them is an Arsenal supporter so we took great joy in taking the piss out of him as they got turned over by Everton. Much to our dismay they then put some poxy Rugby match on the telly. We & another group of English folk successfully revolted against this & forced the reluctant barman to put Soccer Saturday on. Hurrah for solidarity!
As the beer flowed freely we all nattered & joked our way through the afternoon. I also had the very sweet pleasure of mocking all our little crew. Arsenal had already lost, the other fella supports Leicester who lost & Nice's Portsmouth got wellied 5-0! Meanwhile my beloved Leeds beat Sheffield Wednesday 3-0, prompting much singing of "Marching on together…".

Nice returned from a toilet trip in a bit of a shook up state. She explained that some guy had accosted her in the toilets. He had pinned her up against the wall & tried to kiss her despite her protestations that she had a boyfriend. Now, I'm sure you all know that I'm a lover, not a fighter but this transgression could not be swept aside. I quietly stood up & walked into the back of the bar where I found the guy in question, and then with the sternest face I could muster I asked him if he had just been in the toilets. He asked why. I told him that someone had been bothering my girlfriend. He looked blankly at me. I then told him I would go & fetch my girlfriend to confirm it was him before I "took any action".
I walked back to Nice & sat down for a second, as I did who should make a swift bolt for the exit not to been seen again? Got it in one.
I was quite pleased that I had shown enough menace to do the job without having to embarrass myself by actually trying to do it! Not just a pretty face, eh?

With the drama averted, we carried on drinking. My 2 colleagues left us to it. Within an hour it became very clear that Nice had far exceeded her daily beer quota. She was hammered! So it was decided that we would return to the hotel. Which was no easy trip, I assure you!

Sunday's plan was quite similar; Breakfast followed by footy in the pub. We got of the metro at Bellacour so that we could enjoy the crisp sunshine of the morning in this beautiful city. What a wonderful idea that turned out to be, as we crossed the river Saône there was a brass band playing "Cant take my eyes off you" on the middle of the next bridge down, it sounded bloody great, I tell thee! Then a little further down the river, there was a little artist's market complete with some old Frenchman crooning away on a microphone. It was all so wonderfully French! The rest of Sunday went off without hitch. It was all good.
Nice left early Monday morning as I left for work.
I had a bit of a shitty day actually. As some of you may know it's my Birthday this Saturday. It neatly coincides with my weekend at home. Naturally I want to spend the majority of my weekend with The Boy, however just for this one day, I hoped Temper Tantrum would have him overnight on Saturday.
So I called her…

Within literally 5 seconds of her recognizing my voice she was in floods of tears. Telling me she can't cope any longer with all this, The Boy is getting really upset, she desperately needs to get away for the weekend, etc. She said she knew it was my birthday on Saturday & that I'd want to go out but pleaded for me not to ask her as she was at her wits end. Now despite the fact that she makes my blood boil most of the time, I don't want her to be suffering. She genuinely sounded at her wits end so reluctantly I acquiesced. One thing I shall take from the conversation is this: "I've gone from having lots & lots of support to having none", finally an admission of how much I do contribute to The Boy's parenting. I will be sure to remind her of that in the future.
The whole conversation left me feeling rather drained & frustrated. I found myself in quite a black mood for the rest of the day. I went out for a meal with my colleagues but my heart wasn't really in it. I returned to the hotel feeling pretty low.

Sometimes though, happiness can be found in the strangest of places, like the bottom of the fridge. When I got into my room, I opened the fridge to have a swig of milk. Opening the door though unleashed a pungent, foul aroma which engulfed the whole room within nanoseconds. The source of this evil pong was some French cheese that Nice had bought for one of our colleagues back home. She had forgotten (hmmm) to take it with her. Whilst fighting my gag reflex I opened the window. I gazed downwards from my lofty position 6 floors up to find that below was a barren patch of grass. A suitable resting place for the offending fromage, no? I swiftly ejected the stinky cheese out into the night. How did this bring me happiness, I hear you ask. Well, as the cheese hurtled downwards I was drawn towards the window of one of the flats in the adjacent building & there right before my eyes was…A NAKED LADY!!! In all her glory she was parading around her apartment without a stitch on or a care in the world. She looked damn good too with one minor exception. I won't beat around the bush*; her "lady garden" could've used a bit of a trim. Still in the couple of minutes she was there, she unknowingly lifted the faded spirits of this little Englishman.
Bon travail, mademoiselle!

*Tee hee

On Friday I head back home for the weekend. With Temper Tantrum buggering off for the weekend, I can't go out on the lash. However, I am going to have a bit of a soiree at my place. Nice has informed me this morning that I should expect quite a few folk from work to turn up. I'd also very much like to extend this invitation to you guys. Those of you in England, if you have Saturday night free; Come & join the Flashman for some sex, drugs & rock n' roll. (The drugs are optional, of course!). Seriously if any of you would like to join me, I would be thrilled & I'll move heaven & earth to accommodate you for the night. Let me know, it could be fun!

In other news, I have a completion date for my involvement in this French project. Friday March the 3rd will see me return home for good. Which, I have to confess, is a relief. I am starting to get a little homesick.

Well, that's me for now. I may just have a chance tomorrow night to get to the internet place so I can see what's going on with all you fine people.
I really do miss you all, more than you probably know.

Au revoir mes amours.