"And I think to myself, what a wonderful world"

Part 5: You can take the boy out of England...

Saturday morning was bright & warm. Ideal for the next leg of our journey.
The plan being to drive into Canada & then, depending on the time scale, going to Toronto & then Niagara Falls or just to Niagara.

We got held up on the way into Detroit, queuing on the highway amongst this vast industrial sprawl. It reminded me of how Sheffield used to look before they tarted it up.

That delay combined with getting through customs made Toronto look more & more unlikely.
Now if we'd already been in Canada (which we would've been if we'd have ditched the stupid baseball when I said) we'd have been sorted.

We didn't really see Detroit itself but we crossed the Ambassador bridge, which I gleefully point out with a smug "I've been there" to anyone unfortunate enough to watch 8 mile or the video for "Lose yourself" in my company.

I probably should've mentioned already that there was a very big factor in our plans for the day which kind of dictated everything. At 3pm Saturday afternoon (Canada time) England were playing Germany in Euro 2000. To my American readers, I can't stress enough how big a game it is when we take on the Germans. We were not prepared to miss this, especially now as we had to beat them following our defeat to Portugal.

It was probably about 11.30 when we hit the open road. All I remember about the first part of the drive was that the scenery was very flat & open, like Norfolk or Lincolnshire, & the radio.
Now I'm sorry but every bloody radio station we heard all week out there was shit, with shit DJ's & shit music. On this trek though I heard a song for about the 3rd time & it really clicked with me. I heard it a couple more times before going home & I really liked it. Nowadays whenever I hear "Everything you want" by Vertical horizon it always reminds me of my time over the pond.

After a while on the road we stopped for coffee. Inexplicably my hands decided that now would be an excellent time to forget how to hold on to objects. I split coffee all down my top. I was most displeased with this because I wasn't wearing just any old top. I had on my beautiful Leeds United shirt on. I had saved it all week so I could wear it for the footy & I would have it on in all my Niagara Falls photographs. So I had to change into a very dull grey T-shirt, I almost wept.

Off we went again & time was becoming a real issue. Sadly we had to veto Toronto. The landscape started to change, we skirted around Hamilton which had a very impressive skyline & we briefly drove on the edge of one of the great lakes. Whenever I had heard the term "Great" lake I had always thought to myself; "doesn't matter how big it is it's still just a lake". How wrong was I? It was like the ocean, vast & with waves too.
Eventually we arrived in Niagara Falls 15 minutes before kick off. We parked the van & asked the first person we saw if there was an English pub nearby. He said there was one about 2 miles away. Being thoroughly fed up with driving, I suggested getting a taxi. It drove us past the falls & I deliberately looked away, not wanting to spoil the effect for when we came back.

We arrived at the Scottish pub just before the national anthems, result! The place only had about 20 guys in it but about 15 of those were ex-pats! They had come down from Toronto for a stag do, it was great to be in a pub full of Englishmen! I was a bit pissed off that I couldn't drink & I almost caved when it was suggested that we stay here, get some digs & hit the casinos with these guys later. I elected not to, purely because there were still places to go & things to see. I could get leathered at home anytime.
To top it all off, Alan Shearer scored the only goal & we beat the Germans for the first time in bloody years!

We said our goodbyes to our new mates & got a cab back to the falls. Now I don't think I have the words at my disposal to describe how I felt when finally confronted with this most excellent piece of Mother Nature's artistry. It remains to this day the most spectacular thing I've ever seen. We just had to ride the Maid of the Mist which was an unforgettable experience, as I type I can hear the almighty roar of all that water & I can feel the spray on my face. Aah.
After spending an hour or so marveling, it was time to get some food.
2 things really surprised me about Niagara Falls;
1. I'd always imagined that it would just be this spectacular sight out in the middle of nowhere, but no! Niagara is kinda like Blackpool, with allsorts of tourist traps. Some may say it cheapens the place, I would not! I thought it was great!
2. The cost. We spent practically no money there. The maid of the mist cost something like $7 which at the time was a little over 3 quid! If it were in Britain it would cost a the very least £25!
Fair bloody play to Canada, that's what I say!

After a feed, we decided to have a game of crazy golf. This was great for about 10 minutes, until I realised that Mr.Dull (who plays proper golf) was taking it all a bit seriously. he was being very deliberate with both his strokes & his scorecard. By hole 12 I'd had enough...

"What are you doing Mr.Dull?"
"I'm going to play it down the side cos I dropped 2 shots on the last hole"
"It's crazy golf mate, you have to play it through the obstacle, that's the whole point"
"but if I go round it, I'll be 6 points ahead of you"
"I don't care, it's supposed to be fun, you have to play through the obstacle"
"I don't have to"
"Mr.Dull it's FUCKING CRAZY GOLF!! NOW PLAY IT THROUGH THE BASTARD FUCKING WINDMILL & STOP BEING A TWAT!!"
He played it through the windmill.

Bless him, he didn't sulk & I soon apologised. Then it was time to hit the road again. We drove over into New York state & got ready for the drive ahead.
Then for the first time in 5 days, my concentration momentarily dipped & we were driving on the wrong side of the road...

To be continued...