"...and if you're so funny then why do you sleep alone tonight?"
So firstly as a kind of disclaimer i shouls announce that i'm very drunk & i probably shouldn't post in this condition.
But...
I've just got in from a night out. Namesake has completed his final day at my workplace so tonight has been his leaving do. For some unknown reason I went out 6 hours ago full of vim & confidence. However here I am at 1am drunk (mission accomplished) & alone (failure). I'm starting to get really sick of this & I'm wondering why I persist. Crapsville is a small town & only has a finite number of women. It also has a finite number of men who it would appear are far more actractive than I. Now I know where I come in the whole actractive thing - Phenomenally average. I also know where I come in the personality stakes - right at the fucking top! Yet in this superficial world that doesn't seem to matter. Forgive me for I am feeling sorry for myself. Before conceding defeat I spent a good half an hour desperatley looking around the club, hopelessly seeking some eye contact, a glimmer of hope. I FOUND NONE.
Now to be honest I don't even know if I want a relationship as such but I do know that I want to be held in somebody's arms, to feel wanted, to feel worthwhile. Sadly I don't, instead I sit here eating a half pounder with cheese that will only add to my unatractiveness & yearning for some love from a bunch of people (I love you all y'know) that i'll most likely never meet.
How fucked up am I?
But...
I've just got in from a night out. Namesake has completed his final day at my workplace so tonight has been his leaving do. For some unknown reason I went out 6 hours ago full of vim & confidence. However here I am at 1am drunk (mission accomplished) & alone (failure). I'm starting to get really sick of this & I'm wondering why I persist. Crapsville is a small town & only has a finite number of women. It also has a finite number of men who it would appear are far more actractive than I. Now I know where I come in the whole actractive thing - Phenomenally average. I also know where I come in the personality stakes - right at the fucking top! Yet in this superficial world that doesn't seem to matter. Forgive me for I am feeling sorry for myself. Before conceding defeat I spent a good half an hour desperatley looking around the club, hopelessly seeking some eye contact, a glimmer of hope. I FOUND NONE.
Now to be honest I don't even know if I want a relationship as such but I do know that I want to be held in somebody's arms, to feel wanted, to feel worthwhile. Sadly I don't, instead I sit here eating a half pounder with cheese that will only add to my unatractiveness & yearning for some love from a bunch of people (I love you all y'know) that i'll most likely never meet.
How fucked up am I?
And that's what Flash thinks today @ 01:03
1 Comments:
At 3:31 pm,
shorty said…
Was that a retorical ?. You are not fucked up. You are human. We all feel the same way that you do. I don't know your entire situation. But drinking doesn't help it any. Stay away from the clubs, you won't find a "lady" there anyway. You find love in the most unlikely places. All I want is to be held too. Sometimes a hug heals all. Don't you think? What the hell am I saying. I'm more emotional scarred than you. Well bottoms up! Take care and don't listen to a word I just said. I'm silly. PS. How long have you been reading my blog?
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