"So here is my confession, it's an obsession"

So it's all uploaded then.
The whole album is now available for your amusement.

As I promised / threatened (delete as appropriate), I will now guide you track by track through this little bit of my soul that I continue to bandy about to all & sundry.
I have to be honest & say that I feel a little miffed with myself to have gotten to a point where I've pushed it too far. I can sense that I've milked it a bit & people are starting to get cheesed of about it. It's a failing of mine, I never know when to stop. Sorry.

Also from my own point of view I feel I need to close the door on "Confessions..." before I can start working on some new creations. The inside of my head hurts from "White celebration" bouncing off it, desperately trying to get out.

"We both know"
I wrote this around this time last year. As is the case with a lot of my songs, the basic idea came to me & then it formed in my head as I worked. To me it's about a specific relationship but it could quite easily be describing the uneasy bond between any 2 people who share a secret.
It was (along with "Never enough") one of the first songs completed for the album.
I like it very much & I'm very proud of it. It's position as opening track was secure long before the completion of the album because I feel it's a good indication of what's to come, a statement of intent if you will. I have been surprised & a little disturbed that no one (other than Delusions of Grandeur) has singled it out for any praise. As I said though, I really like it & that's what really matters.

"Resistance is futile"
Written during spring/summer 2003. Lyrically it does pretty much what it says on the tin.
I have a love/hate relationship with the finished version. It has lived in my head for a long time before having life breathed into it. In my head it always sounded like a relative of Suede's "Trash". Obviously it hasn't turned out like that but I am very happy indeed with the instrumentation of the song. It's the vocal I'm not sure of. I KNOW I can do better. Again it's received little in the way of praise. I thought that I had the sequence of the tracks absolutely spot on but people's views have suggested otherwise, particularly at the beginning of the album.

"Hate farm"
About 2 years old now, Hate Farm is one of the songs that Reckless & I perform with just guitar & voice. In our little fantasy world which we share, we've had many a discussion about this song. Reckless feels it should definitely be a single but I don't think it could ever be a single. (Two 35 year old men discussing something that we both know is never, ever going to happen; how very sad). I worry & always have that the lyric will be misinterpreted. There are many stupid people in the world & I hate the (again, never gonna happen) idea of it being twisted into the warcry for the BNP or something equally vile. 200 neanderthal's punching the air screaming "Get off my land", ugh.
Sonically I am very pleased with it in general, particularly the intro. The limitations of the software used are most prevalent on this one though, it should sound furious.
As I expected "Hate farm" has divided opinions right down the middle.

"The truth about you"
The oldest song on the album, this one was written in 1999. It's about She Who Changed Everything & how I felt when I discovered that instead of being someone truly special to make her cheat on her husband, I was just one in a procession of guys.
I'm happy with the sound I achieved for the track & other than being a tad wobbly towards the end I feel it's one of my better vocal performances.
There have been no opinions on this one either way so I don't really know how it's been received.

"Egg wielding freak"
I suppose I could justifiably describe this as the hit of the album. Everyone seems to like it which is great. Though the lyric is not about anything weighty or emotionally charged, it remains one of my favourites. Inspired by many a time screaming "Yoshi, you egg wielding freak!" at the telly whilst playing super mario kart with Reckless & Dream Girl.
You would not believe the amount of people who have said it's obviously about my ex-wife!
I was dead chuffed at the groovy, funky sound I managed to attain for it.

"Upon the scales"
Written in about 10 minutes one Saturday afternoon in April 2003, hot on the heels of "Haunted" (which is possibly my best song which I've been too scared to record yet). I sat with a little keyboard, a pen & paper at the kitchen table of Reckless & Dream Girl's house when I lived with them. They were out shopping & I played them it when they came back in; they were astounded.
It still remains one of my personal favourites & out of all the songs that existed pre-recording, it's the one that comes closest to what I hear in my head. Musically I'm very proud of it & though I've sung it better I'm still pretty pleased with the vocal.
If I only had a full orchestra & a choir...
A handfull of folk have singled this out as one of their favourites, to those people: I salute you & your discerning taste.

"The love of my night"
In honour of CrazySexyLady, the best one night stand ever.
It's supposed to sound upbeat & danceable. It does to me anyway!
Essentially placed where it is on the album to lighten the mood a little.

"Nothing's changed"
Written towards the end of last year, when during a e-fuelled conversation with someone I ended up telling them that I still loved them, to which they replied "that things are cool but nothing's changed".
It took an unexpected turn during the recording process. Unhappy with the drum sounds, I changed to a different kit & voila! I like this a lot but fully expected nobody else to at all.
The one or two who have expressed their liking for it have surprised & pleased me in equal measure.
The shouty noise at the end made me deliriously giddy with excitement upon it's first playback.

"Leave the poor girl alone"
Though I have no great affection for Britney it makes me really fed up to see her being slaughtered in the press for doing nothing out of the ordinary at all. It became more of an attack on the "journalists" who perpertrate the act rather than a defense of Ms. Spears.
Sonically, I'm reasonable pleased with it, vocally I'm not.

"Second best"
Another fairly old one, written & rewritten in the boiler house at work many times. I had always imagined it to be piano driven with an orchestral backing coming in on the refrain in the second half. However, already done that with "...scales" I tried something different. I remain very pleased with the results & feel it's a very good vocal performance.
Buddy With Boobs loves it & despite it being very down & almost dirge-like, so do I.

"Never enough"
A strange beast this one, the music was written before the melody or the lyrics. Came up with the hook whilst noodling about on a little keyboard I'd picked up that day for £4 at a car boot sale. The lyric is pretty self explanatory. I personally feel that the verses are absolutely top notch. If only it had a killer chorus, then it would be a great song as opposed to an ok song.

"Confessions of an idiot"
The idea for this has been knocking around for a while. It was only ever an idea though. Suddenly it came to me, the day after I came up with the album title. I am so, so proud of this one. To my ears it's perfect, instrumentally, vocally & lyrically. I love it & it would seem that almost everyone who has had a listen likes it. From the moment it was recorded it was always going to close the album.


So that's it folks, no longer shall I go on about it. It has been a massive part of my life for the last 8 months or so, but the time has come to move on.

One final confession from this idiot; Upon release I couldn't help but think that everyone who heard it would be utterly blown away by it, proclaiming "Wow, he really is the great lost songwriter of his generation" & playing it to everybody they knew until eventually it fell into the hands of somebody with some influence & lo & behold, the life I've always wanted was finally presented to me on a plate.
I know, I know.

Sad.

Little.

Man.