"Who gives a damn about the profits of Tesco?"*

* I have officially given up on the French lyrics, I feel it was a good effort on my part but I cant be arsed with it any longer!

I've still got a bloody headache even now! 48 hours after ending my dubious consumption of powder & fluids, I still feel a bit grim.

It was a good birthday celebration, though in the grand tradition of Flash's birthdays, hardly anyone turned up. There was Reckless, Dream Girl (they NEVER let me down, god bless 'em), Nice, Lil' Mum & me. It was not the turn out that I'd envisaged. It was particularly disappointing considering I'd spent a shedload of money in Tesco's on Saturday afternoon on copious amounts of assorted alcohol. 70% of which remains in my flat, untouched. Bah!

I fear that it's the coke that has left me with the unshakeable headache, though it may well have been the tequila. I decreed that we should play "I never" with tequila slammers. Oh, how very bloody clever. I found myself having to drink every bloody turn & then when it was my turn I couldn't think of anything I'd never done. "I never" is obviously a game to be played by less adventurous sorts or to be played using Tizer instead of tequila.

On Friday night, Nice looked after The Boy so I could go out with all the lab boys back home. Our chemical supplier took us ten pin bowling. Despite coming last, it was a hoot. It was great just to see the guys again. The Silver Fox, Crisp Fiend, Delusions Of Grandeur (who really didn't seem himself, one suspects all is not well with him) & our relative newcomer who I don't think I've mentioned yet; Another Forest Fool. Another Forest Fool (I know it's a crap name, sorry) is a thoroughly nice fella who has fitted into our team seamlessly & he's coming out to Lyon to replace me when my stint is finished. He'll be here with me during my final week so I can show him the ropes; i.e. All the best pubs.
We had 2 games of bowling, quaffed many a beer & chatted loads. For me, it was great just catching up with the guys. It was also nice in a very selfish kind of way to hear that not all as gone well in the lab since I've been out here. Missed in a professional capacity, who'd have thought it!?

Prezzies! Though I only got 2 they were both great. The Boy got me the Arctic Monkeys album. I have to say on just 1 or 2 listens it sounds very good indeed. Worthy of all the hype? Peut etré.
Nice went very lavish & initially got me a digital camera. Sadly it didn't work very well so it was swapped for a portable DVD player. Result! No longer do I have to sit through endless repeats on BBC prime in my hotel room. It's great. I then, as part of my Tesco's spend-a-thon, decided to buy me some DVDs. I got the second Lost boxset, the Back to the future trilogy & Extras.

As I type I'm about 4 hours into a 15 or 16 hour shift. I'm getting used to the money now. My bank balance has never looked so healthy, I tell thee.

So, eventually the much delayed Flashy awards will take place soon, when I can arrange it with my co-host, the lovely Charby. Those few of you who were at 2004's ceremony will remember the red carpet scenario. This year I thought it might be cool if you'll all send me pictures of yourselves wearing the kind of outfits fitting of a glittering showbiz event of the stature of The Flashy's. It doesn't have to be a photograph it can be a drawing if you'd like to retain some anonyminity. It'll be a week or two yet but get them in as soon as you can. Best outfit wins a special Flashy prize!

"So here I am now 35 years old" (oh bugger!)*

I don't have anything to say actually but I figured may you guys might have...

*This post brought to you belatedly by someone who didn't read their e-mail over the weekend. Let's extend this birthday celebration for as long as we can!

"Oh l'amour" (Yes, I'm struggling now!)

Hello my babies! How are you all doing?

I have to say I absolutely loathe my current blog exile, it is tearing at my very soul. To make matters worse, the computer I have been using at work (which allowed me to have a nose around the neighbourhood & even a little post here & there) was stolen last week! Merde!

Nice came out to Lyon for the weekend, we had a smashing time. Having done all the tourist stuff the last time she came, we were free to spend most of our time in either the pub or the hotel room. We had an afternoon of shopping on Friday, which ended up with me buying a couple of new tops, some rather smashing orange trainers & a belt adorned with the extremely pertinent legend; I'm not completely worthless, I can be used as a bad example. C'est bon, no?

Saturday I was called into work for the morning which was a bit of a pisser. When I got back to the hotel & after a sneaky yet potent spliff, the 2 of us made our way to the old town where we had a very scrummy English breakfast in the pub, it was abso-chuffing-lutely delicious! We then settled into place at The Smoking Dog for an afternoon of football & beer. We were joined by 2 of my English colleagues. One of them is an Arsenal supporter so we took great joy in taking the piss out of him as they got turned over by Everton. Much to our dismay they then put some poxy Rugby match on the telly. We & another group of English folk successfully revolted against this & forced the reluctant barman to put Soccer Saturday on. Hurrah for solidarity!
As the beer flowed freely we all nattered & joked our way through the afternoon. I also had the very sweet pleasure of mocking all our little crew. Arsenal had already lost, the other fella supports Leicester who lost & Nice's Portsmouth got wellied 5-0! Meanwhile my beloved Leeds beat Sheffield Wednesday 3-0, prompting much singing of "Marching on together…".

Nice returned from a toilet trip in a bit of a shook up state. She explained that some guy had accosted her in the toilets. He had pinned her up against the wall & tried to kiss her despite her protestations that she had a boyfriend. Now, I'm sure you all know that I'm a lover, not a fighter but this transgression could not be swept aside. I quietly stood up & walked into the back of the bar where I found the guy in question, and then with the sternest face I could muster I asked him if he had just been in the toilets. He asked why. I told him that someone had been bothering my girlfriend. He looked blankly at me. I then told him I would go & fetch my girlfriend to confirm it was him before I "took any action".
I walked back to Nice & sat down for a second, as I did who should make a swift bolt for the exit not to been seen again? Got it in one.
I was quite pleased that I had shown enough menace to do the job without having to embarrass myself by actually trying to do it! Not just a pretty face, eh?

With the drama averted, we carried on drinking. My 2 colleagues left us to it. Within an hour it became very clear that Nice had far exceeded her daily beer quota. She was hammered! So it was decided that we would return to the hotel. Which was no easy trip, I assure you!

Sunday's plan was quite similar; Breakfast followed by footy in the pub. We got of the metro at Bellacour so that we could enjoy the crisp sunshine of the morning in this beautiful city. What a wonderful idea that turned out to be, as we crossed the river Saône there was a brass band playing "Cant take my eyes off you" on the middle of the next bridge down, it sounded bloody great, I tell thee! Then a little further down the river, there was a little artist's market complete with some old Frenchman crooning away on a microphone. It was all so wonderfully French! The rest of Sunday went off without hitch. It was all good.
Nice left early Monday morning as I left for work.
I had a bit of a shitty day actually. As some of you may know it's my Birthday this Saturday. It neatly coincides with my weekend at home. Naturally I want to spend the majority of my weekend with The Boy, however just for this one day, I hoped Temper Tantrum would have him overnight on Saturday.
So I called her…

Within literally 5 seconds of her recognizing my voice she was in floods of tears. Telling me she can't cope any longer with all this, The Boy is getting really upset, she desperately needs to get away for the weekend, etc. She said she knew it was my birthday on Saturday & that I'd want to go out but pleaded for me not to ask her as she was at her wits end. Now despite the fact that she makes my blood boil most of the time, I don't want her to be suffering. She genuinely sounded at her wits end so reluctantly I acquiesced. One thing I shall take from the conversation is this: "I've gone from having lots & lots of support to having none", finally an admission of how much I do contribute to The Boy's parenting. I will be sure to remind her of that in the future.
The whole conversation left me feeling rather drained & frustrated. I found myself in quite a black mood for the rest of the day. I went out for a meal with my colleagues but my heart wasn't really in it. I returned to the hotel feeling pretty low.

Sometimes though, happiness can be found in the strangest of places, like the bottom of the fridge. When I got into my room, I opened the fridge to have a swig of milk. Opening the door though unleashed a pungent, foul aroma which engulfed the whole room within nanoseconds. The source of this evil pong was some French cheese that Nice had bought for one of our colleagues back home. She had forgotten (hmmm) to take it with her. Whilst fighting my gag reflex I opened the window. I gazed downwards from my lofty position 6 floors up to find that below was a barren patch of grass. A suitable resting place for the offending fromage, no? I swiftly ejected the stinky cheese out into the night. How did this bring me happiness, I hear you ask. Well, as the cheese hurtled downwards I was drawn towards the window of one of the flats in the adjacent building & there right before my eyes was…A NAKED LADY!!! In all her glory she was parading around her apartment without a stitch on or a care in the world. She looked damn good too with one minor exception. I won't beat around the bush*; her "lady garden" could've used a bit of a trim. Still in the couple of minutes she was there, she unknowingly lifted the faded spirits of this little Englishman.
Bon travail, mademoiselle!

*Tee hee

On Friday I head back home for the weekend. With Temper Tantrum buggering off for the weekend, I can't go out on the lash. However, I am going to have a bit of a soiree at my place. Nice has informed me this morning that I should expect quite a few folk from work to turn up. I'd also very much like to extend this invitation to you guys. Those of you in England, if you have Saturday night free; Come & join the Flashman for some sex, drugs & rock n' roll. (The drugs are optional, of course!). Seriously if any of you would like to join me, I would be thrilled & I'll move heaven & earth to accommodate you for the night. Let me know, it could be fun!

In other news, I have a completion date for my involvement in this French project. Friday March the 3rd will see me return home for good. Which, I have to confess, is a relief. I am starting to get a little homesick.

Well, that's me for now. I may just have a chance tomorrow night to get to the internet place so I can see what's going on with all you fine people.
I really do miss you all, more than you probably know.

Au revoir mes amours.

"Une présence ambigüe, Une présence inconnue"

Bonjour mes amis.

I really didn't mean for it to be so long between posts, so I'm sorry for my absence (yet again)!

This post is only a sneaky little one as I'm at work right now.
I went home for the weekend, it was nice & this time it was reasonably relaxing. I hardly stepped outside of my flat for the whole time which was good.

The Boy was pleased too, apparently he had told his mum on Friday morning that he "couldn't wait till after school". Ah, that's sweet, eh? He misses his old fella!
"Yeah, cos I get to play Battlefront 2!"
Bless him.

My journey back to Lyon was noteworthy; I was traveling alone so I caught the train to the airport. The train was running 40 minutes late. My flight was at 17.20 and I checked in 16.55, I got into the departure lounge & walked straight onto the plane. Even on arrival at Lyon I walked straight onto the bus bound for the city. No hanging around for Flashy on that journey!

The highlight of the journey was when the pilot informed those of us on the left of the aircraft that we were just flying over Paris. I couldn't pick anything out from the maze of orange lights except for one thing: I saw the Eiffel Tower & it looked ace & it made me smile like a child.

Best news of the weekend; Nice is coming out to Lyon again this weekend, yay!
Have pity for the occupants of the room below me!

"Vous etre tres belle ( vous etre tres belle, mama)"

Bon sour Mon amis.

Now, I realise it's gonna spoil one of the forthcoming Flashy awards but I just can't resist doing a Lordy B inspired top 20 singles of 2005 list.

I just can't help myself!

So without further ado...

20: In the crossfire - Starsailor

A rousing & surprising return from Starsailor, I really like James Walsh's voice. I know!







19: The Denial twist - The White Stripes
It's the tambourine & the groove that do it for me, a highlight from a sadly underwhelming album.






18: Somewhere else - Razorlight
Johnny Borrell may well be an annoying little twerp but there's no resisting this song & it's insistant chorus. It's also a lyrical sentiment that I'm sure we all relate to from time to time.









17: Do you want to - Franz Ferdinand
A little cracker that makes me jump up & down with a daft smile on my daft face. It's appeal has waned slighly with repeated listening though.









16: State of the union - David Ford
I was so very pleased when former Easyworld main man David returned to the scene. The only single to be released from his beautiful "I sincerley apologise for all the trouble I've caused" album, it's a slow building rant that captivates throughout. Old readers may remember that Mr.Ford has contributed to this very blog in the form of his very excellent Flashy award acceptance speech in Dec 2004.





15: Bullets - Editors
Pounding, throbbing, dirty & dark; just the way Flashy likes it!










14: Middle of nowhere - Hot Hot Heat
It remains something of a mystery & an injustice that Canada's HHH aren't huge, especially when they have such a fine grasp of what constitutes great pop music. If there were still milkmen they would be whistling this.







13: A pain that I'm used to - Depeche Mode
Not before time, 'ver Mode are finally getting some well overdue recognition. This killer tune has all the DM hallmarks yet still sounds fresh & vital. How many other bands can do that after 25 years?








12: Fix you - Coldplay
Sadness can be so frighteningly beautiful as proved on this slice of tearjerking lovliness from the all conquering Coldplay.
I'm in the video, y'know.








11: Wake me up when September ends - Green Day
Some songs get right on your tits after a year or so, especially if dreadful commercial radio stations get hold of them & play them exactly every 3 hours. Not this. A great melody, a fine lyric & a journey through soft & loud & back again.








10: The hand that feeds - Nine Inch Nails
He's still angry as hell but with this single Trent wants us to dance our venom out. The best NIN single in over 10 years was a potent Bush-baiting reminder of just how talented Mr. Reznor is.









9: The importance of being idle - Oasis
Oh stop your groaning you miserable buggers, it's a bloody great song! Just accept it!









8: Apply some pressure - Maximo Park
Every know & then you'll hear a song just once & know that you'll love it forever. Sometimes that first listen will be hearing it played live. When Maximo Park closed their set with this cracker when I saw them supporting the Kaisers, it left an indelible mark on me. Instant classic?







7: Hard to beat - Hard-fi
A gloriously upbeat romp about the simplest of pleasures, liking a girl. Like No.8 this got me on first listen "like a fist" you could say! (That first listen was whilst in the pub with Lordy B, fact fans!)









6: Talk - Coldplay
My early favourite from "X & Y", it's a masterclass in melody & musicianship. Though typically Coldplay, I find the lyrics to be very engaging too. I thought I'd be sick of it by now as I played it soooo much. I was wrong.







5: Going missing - Maximo Park
Much like "Apply some pressure" this one lodged itself straight into my conciousness at that same gig. As parent album "A certain trigger" as become my soundtrack to my adventures, this song has just kept on growing & growing (like The Blob!). You wouldn't believe the number of times I've had to bite my lip to stop myself from belting out the chorus on Le Metro!






4: Tied up too tight - Hard-fi
It's just a big stomping stormer of a tune, The Jam in the 21st century but without the sulking or the parkas. Hurrah!









3: Speed of sound - Coldplay
It's not that I didn't like "Speed of sound" when it came out, I was just a tad underwhelmed & it did sound like "Clocks". It doesn't anymore. It's beauty is in it's depth, one of those records that's intricate & slowly reveals more of itself on repeated listens. Almost like a pretty girl sitting back with a knowing smile saying "I'll let my showy friends, Talk & Fix You, vie for your attention but I know that it'll be me you'll want to move in with".




2: I predict a riot - Kaiser Chiefs
If "Speed of sound" is a wylie temptress beckoning you in, "Riot" is your new best mate who promises all manner of fun & frolics down the pub, following by some good drugs & a mosh down the front of a great gig. Though I'm oft partial to some introspection, I'm a sucker for a boistrous knockabout such as this. I tell thee.







1: Dakota - Stereophonics
The biggest surprise of the year was when the 'phonics dished this up.
A truly, truly great song, fantastic instrumentation & that wonderful old school Duran Duran noise!

Who'd have thought it, eh?






Right then, instead of telling me which of those songs float your boat, tell me which of them you feel DOESN'T* deserve a mention in a top 20 of anything.

*It was meant to say doesn't all along - oops!

Pull no punches, let's 'ave a ruck!
It'll be fun!

"Embrasse moi, mets ton doigt dan mon cul"

Bon jour.

It's sunday afternoon here in Lyon & I have a rare few hours spare. So I'm back at the old internet place near the old hotel after having a frankly marvellous full english breakfast.

Today is the day for us to take a look back at 2005 in World of Flash.

January
The year got off to a bloody dreadful start when I was messed about by a Bitch just minutes into the new year. A day later everything was funky as I completed "Egg wielding freak".
Reading back over t'blog it would seem that little of any consequence happened in January bar working on the album & having a crapish birthday. That said I think I did some of my best blogging, telling the tales of Minx, Carrie & my American adventure. Anyone with lot's of time on their hands could do worse than giving them a read.

February
It was all a bit dull & frustrating in February. The vocals on the album weren't going very well & I was suffering from loneliness which was made worse by the massive phone bill that led to the severance of my internet connection.
On a happier note The Early Birds were born at the start of the month & though it was touch & go for a while they pulled through & are now perfectly fit & healthy. I also had a rare trip to Elland road where the mighty Leeds crushed Reading.
In blog land we played the very first game of Ask Flash, which was nice.

March
The third month was totally dominated by the release of "Confessions of an idiot" (which somewhat bizarrely seems to have been overlooked for the Brit awards!). The only other noteworthy stuff was the flirting with the girls at work, but it would surely all come to nothing right?

April
At the start of the month I finally, after 35 years, found out some details about my biological parents. It was a completley overwhelming experience that I've still not really come to terms with. I know I should pursue this further but something seems to be holding me back, fear perhaps.
I also had a cracking weekend where an old friend & I got it going on a little & I went paintballing for the first time.
I also trod on a frog.
The blog was still full of "Confessions..." type stuff but also a run through all my female colleagues & a competition which led to my I-pod being known as Humbert.

May
I think I was pretty despondant for the most part of May.
The undoubted highlight of the month was my Saturday night in London with the lovely Charby, The first blogger I got to meet in the flesh. I also very much enjoyed "Revenge of the sith" several times. At the end of the month I did two things of note; I "released" the rather magnificient "White celebration" & I gave up on women. No, really I did!

June
Literally days after giving up women I had a bit of result with HotLegs whilst on a trip oop north; If only I was staying in a hotel (sigh). Also there was "evidence to suggest that Nice has a serious crush on me". In other news I had a second meeting with a blogger when I went to visit Lordy B; Bloody nice fella. I decided to write a book. I revealed myself to the world in World of Flash- The Pictorial. "White celebration" was very well recieved. And there was the wonderful Key incident with Temper Tantrum.

July
I got laid! La la la!

Also; I met my 3rd real life blogger as a trip to see Coldplay gave me the opportunity to meet Swiss Toni, another fine fella. I got (far too) excited at the very real prospect of singing on live television to an audience of millions & got very distressed when it didn't come off. My little boy turned 6. Sadly, my very good friend Funny Dance & his family relocated to distant Somerset.
In blogland I waxed on about my enduring love for Depeche Mode, had a bit of a blog row going on over the Duke of Jokes birthday & dished up a mammoth post to celebrate a year's worth of blogging which was met by 35 comments; still a World of Flash record.

August
Ah good old August, the footy came back, The annual piss up occurred (though this year it was Brighton baby!), I had the thrill of doing a bungee jump & I had lots & lots of sex. Hurrah!

September
Another month, another blogger meeting. This time I had the pleasure of meeting the very lovely Scully. It was only 2 or 3 hours but it was great. I had a smashing day at the races where Joey Tribianni won me 36 quid - How you doin'? I had an ace night with Reckless, Dream Girl & some acid. The Boy & I had a little mini-holiday in Bournemouth. On the blog I began to question the essence of being Flash, I gave my fine readers thier own World of Flash type names & I failed to keep up with a flurry of memes that were flying about, well I was having a lot of sex y'know!

October
I went to visit FunnyDance down in Somerset with The Boy, went to Brum to see the Kaisers & the excellent Maximo Park, did little else except have lots of... oh you know by now, right?
In Blog terms I lost my mojo & banged on about Star Trek complete with pictures of the alpha quadrant's finest fillies!

November
In a effort to rediscover my blogging mojo I started the month with a new streamlined look (I sometimes miss the old green thing!). I also went up to Nottingham to go see the Bluetones with Lordy B & ST, I told the story of the Blackpool minger, then on the 15th life took a very unexpected turn as I was asked to go & work in Lyon, France!
Then I went to Lyon & it was ace! I went to see Coldplay too & my blog went from strength to strength! c'est bon!

December
Wonderful!
Lyon!
Fete du lumiares!
Nice in Lyon for the weekend!
Doing well at work!
A great xmas & a blissful year's eve!

So it really has been a year where each month has been better than the last.
2005 - I salute you.

"Voulez vous...ah-ah"

I don't know where to begin!

I want to do a review & round up of 2005, which was a pretty good year for me.
The Flashy's are long overdue (which is a blessing in some ways as the best new band award is giving me sleepless nights) & young Charbs earned the right to co-host the awards with me way back in the mists of time. I wasn't sure how that was gonna work before, but now???

Today though is the time to tell you of what the Flashman did during the festive season.

Somehow being in Lyon made this the least stressful xmas ever; I did ALL my xmas shopping in a 45 minute trip to Toys R us & a 3 hour tootle round Northampton town centre the next morning. I had all my gifts wrapped by teatime on the 23rd (which is totally unheard of, I'm usually up half of xmas eve!) & didn't have to do anything at all on xmas eve.

Nice joined me on xmas eve (& the night before) to help me re-integrate sex & drugs & rock 'n roll back into my life. Then before you could say "Blimey! Look at all these prezzies! I only had a bloody dressing gown last year" it was xmas morning.

Nice & I woke about 7:15, I had bought her some tres expensive perfume, an mp3 player, a SoccerAM dvd & some chocolates. She had bought me loads! A new Leeds shirt, a rather nice hoody, Revenge of the Sith dvd, Joey dvd boxset, aftershave & several other little nick-nacks.

Allow me to digress for a moment to tell you the Woolworths/Niknak story...

It's early 1993 & Temper Tantrum & I are in the delightful honeymoon period of our ill-fated union. Now we all use pet names do we not? Good. Her's for me was Nik Nak. So one day we are wondering around Woolworths in Wakefield when she's drawn to some piece of tat. On closer inspection she pleased to announce "It's a candle, Nik Nak!"
"Oh" says I.
As we amble slowly onwards a sweet little girl of about 5 lifts up the aforementioned article & proudly tells her mother; "This is a candleniknak!"
Ah, always makes me smile...

Anyway back to xmas morning, after a lovely couple of hours with Nice it was time for The Boy. I dropped Nice off & collected him at 9. When we got back to mine he immediately set about the very large pile of presents that Santa had brought for him. Those of you that are parents will know that for those few precious minutes when your offspring is ripping off the wrapping & smiling gleefully & jumping up & down with excitement makes the whole thing worthwhile. It's irreplaceable.

This year I'd spoiled him rotten, no doubt compensating for my absence. It was a wonderful couple of hours that was over all too quickly when Temper Tantrum arrived to take him to granny's in Watford.

So now I was on me todd.
This was cushty though, Nice had gone out for xmas dinner with her mum & brother. She planned to return to mine around 2ish, so I set about "cooking" my own xmas feast. 7 minutes later...Voila! Chicken Tikka masala, naan breads, pappadums & a cup of coffee; Sorted!

Nice returned a little earlier than expected and we had a very enjoyable Xmas afternoon.

At teatime it was time to take to the barren roads & make my way over to Reckless & Dream Girl's for the remainder of the day.
Usually I would've gone over earlier for dinner but I wanted to spend some time with Nice. My arrival was very welcome. See my very good friends have a difficult time at xmas, between them they have 6 children to buy for & this sometimes means they can't afford gifts for each other. However, Flash always comes bearing gifts.
I had bought them an mp3 player each & I'd taken the time to pre-load them with tunes, each suiting there own personal needs; lot's of turned up to 10 rock-out stuff for Reckless & a more emotionally engaging, softer selection for Dream Girl. I reckon I did alright & they both seemed genuinely pleased.
Not long after Cutieboy piped up with "have you got presents for us then?"
"No" I said coldly
"What?!"
As all four kids were all in the room at that time, I made a little speech explaining that because I'd been in France I hadn't had enough time to buy them all presents & I hope they all understood. With glum faces they all nodded. They soon brightened up when (as had been my plan all along) I produced a tenner for each of them.

We then proceeded to get quite drunk, watched Doctor Who (which I thought was great), get a little stoned & talk long into the night. At the end of the day I had to conclude that, from start to finish, it had been a truly smashing Christmas day. The best ever as an adult? Peut-être.

Boxing day I went home in time to receive the returning Boyo. We had a great day, mostly playing X-box & watching his Clone Wars vol 2 dvd, then went he went to bed Nice came round & we had a smashing evening with a few joints & the bottle of Champagne I had bought for us from France (not the cheap stuff!) . All good so far.

After a very lazy morning The Boy & I embarked on our trip up north. Just as it started snowing - bugger! We arrived in Wakefield some 3 hours later. The Boy straight away set about his presents, disdainfully casting aside the clothes he'd been given!Our Kid wasn't there as she was at Center Parcs but she'd gotten me some very nice jeans. Mum & Dad had gotten me the Lost dvd box set & a frothy coffee maker(!). In the evening Dad & I went to the local for a couple of pints & I told him all about my adventures in Lyon.

The next day saw Our Kid return, man does she have a lot going on in her life at the moment! I can't begin to detail it here but in quick fire stylee; separation from her husband of just a year, new fella on the quiet, eptopic pregnancy & the subsequent operation. She seems quite happy though, bless her.

That evening her estranged hubby, SportyBruv joined us all (except my Mum) in going to the Pantomime. They still seem to be getting on quite well, which is good. The Boy & SportyBruv really, really get on. The Boy was thrilled to bits when he arrived & even more so when I agreed that he could stay the night at SportyBruv's house (where they stayed up til nearly midnight playing Lego Star Wars). The panto was, in truth, a bit cack this year though The Boy particularly enjoyed the second half. When we all exited the theatre the rest of the Flash family turned right back to the car park & I turned left onto Westgate where I joined the Duke of Jokes in the pub. As always it was a delight to see him. Over the course of the evening we quaffed many an ale & nattered on about the world we live in & life in general. We also celebrated Leeds United's 2nd straight victory of the xmas period as the boys chalked up a 1-0 win at Stoke as we watched the merseyside derby. As is pretty much tradition now, we ended the night with some nosh; Doner meat & chips for me & I managed to keep it off the floor this time. After a shared taxi ride The DOJ wonderfully posted for me so that everyone knew all was well in World of Flash while I stumbled into my folk's house & collapsed straight into bed. Cheers matey, twas a pleasure as always.

The next day saw myself, The Boy, Our kid & my dad troop off to the white rose shopping centre outside Leeds, which was a bit of a chore but necessary. From there The Boy & I returned directly to Crapsville. A couple of hours later he was in bed & Nice came round to visit.

Friday saw The Boy & I venture over to Reckless & Dream Girl's for the afternoon. This was very cool for The Boy as he hadn't seen his good friend Cutieboy in a while. Then it was back home for another evening in the company of Nice.

New year's eve: I dropped The Boy back to his mum at tea time & went back over to Northampton. I was a little disappointed not to be seeing in the new year with Nice but she had arranged to go out on the town with her friends & I always (except for last year, which was kack) spend New Year's eve in the company of Reckless & Dream Girl.

And Blimey what a great night we had to round off a triumphant year for me. Around 8 we got the ball rolling with a mini pop idol style competition for the kids. The Eavesdroppers' karaoke machine was put to good use as the youngest 3 took their opportunities to impress the judges. The competition was a masterstroke as it kept the kids amused & allowed us the judges to go upstairs to the bedroom to "deliberate our decisions". In reality we were giddily indulging ourselves in the cocaine that we'd bought specially for the occasion. Soon we all felt like champions, much vodka was consumed & periodically we would have atequilaa slammer (complete with salt & lemon), yum!Another round of performances & another "deliberation" session later it was time to announce the winner: Cutieboy! (The girls had displayed some bad attitude especially NoisyButSweet who had a serious diva strop! Move over Mariah!).

I've known Dream Girl for many years now yet I had never heard her sing, it had become a bit of a thing in her mind following a very cruel dismissal from a teacher when she was a child. I had (as had Reckless) implored her for some time just to let go as nobody would be judging but it had become a hard barrier for her to break down. Uncle "Charlie" sorted her out though, she gave a very brief solo performance & then happily sang along with everybody else; Yay!

The guitar came out & I had a lovely time leading the whole household in wonderful singalong versions of "Frog" & "Big lover". I'm sure happiness was radiating from me as I looked around at the smiling faces of this family that I'm an honourary member of, singing my songs word for word. The best was yet to come though.

You may have heard mention of "Haunted" before. It's possibly my finest song & it's certainly the most emotionally charged. It's also deeply inspired by Dream Girl. To hear her sing it along with me, word for word, was a pleasure I cannot describe. The best was still to come though.

Earlier in the evening Dream Girl had asked me how thing's were going with Nice.
I told her that things were great;
"Have you told her yet that love her yet?"
"No"
"Why not??"
"Because I'd be lying" (There's a whole other post I could write about this, in short I think Nice is great & I really enjoy being with her but I can't fall in love with her because I am already in love with someone else - "When you're too in love to let it go")

Then during a quiet moment not long before midnight the cherry was placed upon a fine 2005 when Dream Girl gently took my hands in her's & said "I do love you, y'know".

MY Dream Girl still loves me.

Soon enough the 3 of us & all the kids were stood in a circle at midnight singing "Auld langs syne". C'est magnifique!

The kids were packed off to bed & the 3 of us consumed more vodka, more tequila & more cocaine!
We then spent the next 5 hours doing nothing more than singing & laughing & being the fine friends that we are. We finally caved in just after 5am.

I awoke at 11.30 on New years day. I hung around for a couple of hours before going back to Crapsville when once again I had the company of The Boy for the next 24 hours. In the evening I had a very welcome visit from Buddy With Boobs with whom I had a lot of catching up to do.
It was nice to see her, really nice. Then later, after The Boy went to bed, Nice visited again.

Monday the 2nd was my last full day at home as I was leaving for Lyon at 6am on Tuesday. The Boy & I had a lovely day just hanging out playing X-box, board games & top trumps. He went home to his mum at 4pm after some mega big cuddles.
Nice arrived moments later for our last evening together for a couple of weeks. All over the holiday's she had visited lots of times but had not been able to stay the night because I don't want The Boy to find her in my bed in the morning.
Tonight though she could stay & we'd both been very much looking forward to going to sleep in each other's arms. First there was some other business to attend to. Sky Sports had been kind enough to screen the games of our both our respective footy teams so it was off to the pub with us for a feast of New year footy!
After stocking up on some more bedroom action!

We arrived at the pub just in time for kick off. First up was Leeds' away match at Plymouth Argyle (those big games come thick & fast, no?). The first half was pretty dull. We were joined at half time by The Silver Fox who is a fellow Leeds fan. It was good to see him & he was telling us of how his wife had taken him on a surprise trip to New York. He thought he was off to Prague!

In the 2nd half Leeds turned on the style & romped off to a 3-0 win making it 4 wins out of 4 over the festive period, hurrah!

Then it was time for Blackburn rovers Vs Nice's beloved Portsmouth. They lost 2-1 (snigger).
I hardly saw any of the game because just as it started an old friend, Go On Gamble, came in & I spent the whole game talking to him, laughing about days gone by. It was an absolute pleasure to see him.

Footy finished, Nice & I picked up some food & stumbled home. We were both quite drunk by now & after we had finished our food we went to bed & both fell straight to sleep. We awoke at 4.30am & had a final bout of carnal fun before she went to work & I waited for my lift to the airport.

All in all the whole holiday period was splendid. The only dark spot being my enforced absence from blogworld.

But hey, I'm here now, right?!

"Ooh la la"

Salut et Bon Annee!

I'm seriously hopeful of getting a proper post out very soon but in the meantime I'm just sneaking this one in to tell you all how I'm missing you all Soooooo much & that I'm longing to get my blog life back to normal.

Longing, I tell thee.