"Sleeping on a plane, you know you can't complain"

I've been feeling a bit shitty about stuff lately. I've a few things that are affecting me at the moment & that I need to deal with. I'd really don't have the time or the inclination to elaborate on that for the moment but I would like to explore them a little more in time.
Also, I'm very happy to say, none of them involve any dissatisfaction with my love life. It's just everything else.
It think it may all be rooted in age.

Anyway...
This has all been tempered by the quite spiffing news I got today. I'll be able to pack up my troubles in my old kit bag because work want me to go to the Czech Republic for two weeks.
Ace!
Our facility is about 15 miles outside Prague, so I'll hopefully (time & internet permitting) be going back into travel writer mode as I explore the Czech capitol. I fly out Sunday or Monday.
How cool is that? Where is that passport? Why the hell did I never sign up for frequent flyer stuff?

"In a case like this I'll get away with it"

Not so long ago, I took part in Swiss Toni's shuffle-a-thon. It was a hoot.
The CD I put together is reviewed here.
I promised that I'd do a little write up about the songs I chose, what they mean to me & why those songs were chosen.
So without further ado...

I have been making compilations since the early 80's. By the 90's I had it down to a fine art. I would regularly make tapes for people. I always put a lot of time & effort into the whole process. I always used to pay special attention to the artwork. Very rare was it that someone would receive a cassette in a plain case with a simple hand written list of songs. No, for me part of making a mixtape for someone was making the "sleeve". Back in the day these would invariably have some sort of photo stuck to the inlay with the title done using Letter-a-set (y'know, those letters that came on a clear sheet & you would rub them off onto the paper using a pencil). I then graduated to using photocopiers &, by the time I had phased tapes out in favour of minidiscs, computers. The inlays were often a talking point & many friends of friends would see them & gasp in admiration, often going on to nag my friend into getting me to make a tape for themselves. Sadly, when I made the shuffle-a-thon CD I didn't make a fancy inlay. I kind of regret that now.
There was always a lot of detail involved too, all tapes had a catalogue number on the side & a logo at the base of the side panel. In the old days this would be the letters BN & the corresponding year; ie.BN86. BN was the abbreviation of the fictional label used by myself & the good old Duke Of Jokes. After leaving Wakefield I carried on with BN for a while before adopting my Flash Logo (yes, I've been using it for years!).

I have always felt that a good compilation was only as good as it's running order. My formula remains the same today: Hit them with 2 or 3 big solid hit-type songs to start with, then some not so obvious choices or less instant tunes. The middle is where it all mellows out, any slow songs would always go here then I would gradually build it back up. The final few songs would always be the big stonking mega tunes, the creme de la creme. I would always save the very best song till last. Go out with a bang. Make them think that they had just listened to the best tape ever.
Reckless has, over the years, been the chief recipient of my work. He & Dream Girl still to this day talk about some of them with a real genuine affection, long after they've died & gone to tape heaven.
Nowadays though I hardly ever practice my "skills". There's little point. Everything's digital, everything gets shuffled (making running orders kind of redundant) & I no longer use any of the formats that lend themselves to such efforts.

So I did very much enjoy flexing my compilation muscles for this CD.
Part of the criteria was that the CD should be compiled before you knew who was going to receive it. With that in mind, I tried to steer fairly clear of the widely known.
I simply titled the disc; 12.

1- Jingle Jangle - Hot Hot Heat
I liked the idea of starting the whole disc with a "naked" vocal. It just seemed like a really good initial punch. Of course it's a rip-roaringly fine tune anyway. It's meaning for me is two-fold. One; the instrumentation & the melody is unstoppably chirpy, which I like & two; the lyrics are so me. Let me give you an example...
"Friday night I'll raise my glass and say"Tomorrow things will change! I can't afford to wait."
But by Monday morning my alarm clock knows
How this story goes and the ending's the same as the start
Another day, another night, another year
Another smile, another lie, another tear
This better not be all I got
I never thought I'd end up here"

2 Bliss - Muse
A song so utterly rampantly joyous that I had to share it. Honestly, I know I've said this before but it really does sound like bliss.
Secretly, I wish that someone would write a lyric about me. I wish the lyrics of "Bliss" were about me.
Egocentric? Moi??

3 A certain romance - Arctic Monkeys
I just had to include something by ver Monkeys. I thought I'd go with this one simply because it's my favourite. I also thought that the Yorkshire accent & phrasing of the lyrics would be quite interesting & quirky if the disc ended up going overseas. Which it did.

4 Lady - Adam & the Ants
I thought I ought to include something from my musical infancy so Adam was the natural choice. Which bloody song though? I didn't want anything too obvious like "Stand & Deliver" or "Antmusic" so I delved into the b-sides. This one had been re-introduced into my consciousness in Lyon when I first spied NakedLady.
I first heard this song when I was 11. The lyrics were like nothing I'd heard before. Partly because I got them wrong though.
"I had a good look through the crack, foot marks up her back, how did they get there?" became "I had a good look at her crack, Fuckmarks up her back..."
Seriously, for years I wondered what a fuckmark was & how one could get them on one's back & if they went away, etc...

5 Tonight we fly - The Divine Comedy
It's just such a perfectly adorable song. It's not very well known either so I thought it deserved sharing. This song always makes me happy when I hear it & I adore singing along to it. I love the sheer optimism of the lyric too. Also as we approach the middle of the disc it brings a little mellowness to the proceedings after the opening salvo of largeness!

6 First day of my life - Bright Eyes
And so to the quiet bit. This song is so lovely but in a broken kind of way that you just want to take it home & shower it with affection. It's also Nice & I's song.
Aaaaw.

7 Somebody - Depeche Mode
Well I had have one on it!
I went for this because it's always been a fine friend to me. I have hardly ever played it to someone & received a negative reaction. Also, over the years, it has proved one of the finest moves I have in my woman-conquering armory. It sure takes a stony heart not to be melted by a lovely voice (such as my own!) crooning this especially for them.
It's never failed me yet, anyway.

8 Tonight - Easyworld
I'm sure most of you by now know that I'm on a mission to bring Easyworld/David Ford to the masses. This song is so heartbreakingly sad. For me personally it shall always remind me of how very, very sad I once was & how good a reason I had to be sad. I cannot hear this song without being moved.

9 Billy - Nik Kershaw
Note how we pick the pace up a little as we leave behind the soft centre of the CD. Like Adam Ant & Depeche Mode, Nik Kershaw had to appear on anything that chronicled the musical me. This song is chirpy sounding & it bounces along quite nicely. It's the lyrics that are crucial though. At the time I got the parent album, 15 minutes, I really identified with poor old Billy. More than any other character I'd ever seen. When I used to sing along to it in the car, my ex-wife would say "You think of you & I when you sing this don't you?". "Don't be daft" I would reply.
She was right though.
"Billy" actually helped me along my way in the end; having shown me what I had become, it made it easier to see what I had to do to come back.
So you can all thank Mr K for the Flash you know & love being here today.

10 Once, A Glimpse - Maximo Park
We're heading into the home straight now. I love this song, the words ring very true for me. It somehow makes me simultaneously think of Lyon & Dream Girl.

11 Mountain People - Super Furry Animals
So I broke with tradition & slowed things down a little again. This a bit of a strange beast. For the first 4 minutes it's a pretty normal kind of song & pretty damn good too. Towards the end though it all goes a bit mental. With an ongoing bassy stomp it builds in tempo & intensity to a crescendo of beeps & electronic squelches. I love it.
And it also leads us neatly into...

12 White Celebration - Gnu Cnu
Save the best till last. That's the rules!

So, there you go.
I really miss the art of the compilation. It was something I always enjoyed doing so I'm grateful to the shuffle-a-thon for giving me the opportunity.

Well, that's me done for now. The Boy is with me until Thursday & I have my last days off work for this year. I've used all my holiday entitlement up & will have to wait till January for some more. Bugger.

"And I've fallen by the wayside now"

Greetings.

I've just spent the whole weekend being ill. What's that about? Ill at the bloody weekend. Madness.
I'm on the mend now though so fret ye not.

Before I get onto today's subject matter, I'd just like to share some wisdom imparted to me by my 7 year old son; The Boy.
This came totally out of the blue & is not something he & I have ever spoke about before...

"Dad, Americans think they're the best in the world, don't they?"
"Well, some do. They're not though, eh? Who are the best in the world then?" (Fully expecting him to say "we are" or words to that effect).
"Nobody is. All the people in the world are the same. I do like Americans, I just wish they didn't think they were better than everyone else"
My little boy is growing up so fast!

Anyway, is it just me or does anybody find themselves liking Keane just that little bit more today following the revalation that Old Chubbycheeks (Lead singer, Tom Chaplin) has checked into The Priory with drink & drugs problems?
That's more like it!











Surely it is the duty of our so-called rock stars to embrace (You listening Danny McNamara?) the whole sex, drugs & rock 'n' roll ethos.

They do it so we don't have to.*

And, let's be honest here, how many great, great records have been made by drug-assisted/addled (delete as appropriate) stars over the years.
Jim Morrisson, John Lennon, Jimi Hendrix, Marc Bolan, John Entwistle, Kurt Cobain, Freddie Mercury, Elvis, Sid Vicious, etc...
What?
They're all dead now? Ah...

Ok, good point.
Brian Wilson! Dave Gahan! Elton John! David Bowie! Iggy Pop! Pete Doherty!
Ha! Never did them any harm, eh?

Now has much as I'm quite partial to a spot of ColdplayKeaneEmbrace type music, all those sort of bands would surely benefit from a shot in the arm from another headspace, a different perspective. Imagine "X & Y & E" or "A rush of coke to the head" or... actually, forget all that, I've just remembered "Be here now".

Still, let's hope Old Chubbycheeks has some creative input on the next Keane album.

*As a self-confessed imaginary rock star, I try to do my bit.

"We bite and scratch and scream all night"

I have a houseguest at the moment. This happens every year around the same time. My friends bugger off on holiday & I get lumbered with the cat. It's all a bit different this year though. Sadly, Purdy died a few months back of old age, so the old girl hasn't come to stay.
No, this year I have 2 bloody weeks with a mentalist...

A mentalist named Missy. The latest addition to the Reckless & Dream Girl clan. She's actually sitting on my lap as I type this. She's most intrigued by the drawstring on my shorts.
She's been a complete nutter. One night this week, she went totally off her head. Out of the blue she started literally tearing round the room like a kitty possessed. She then turned her attentions to Nice & I. In the end we had to seek refuge in my bedroom. Both of us have several little scratches on our hands as a legacy of Missy's madness (one of which stung like fuck today when I got a small tear in my glove while handling hydrochloric acid, ow!). To be honest, we suspect she may have got a little stoned as we had a few joints on the night in question.
Having said all that, she is great & it's been a lot of fun playing with her. The Boy has been loving his Missy-time too.

Not much has been going on this week other than work, which has somehow been hectic & chilled at the same time.

I'll finish up by sharing one of life's little moments of fortune with you. I was putting a load of washing on earlier. I routinely checked the pockets of my jeans &... voila! A tightly rolled up £10 note.

I don't know why it's like that though, honest.

"Is it any wonder I'm tired?"

Well I'm bloody jiggered, I tell thee.

This weekend has knocked the bleeding stuffing out of me. On Saturday I woken at just before 7, gave The Boy his breakfast & dropped him off to his mum. Then, with a great sense of foreboding, tootled off to work.
At this time of year we have what is known as our "shutdown". Historically, this was a two week period where all our production would cease & the vast majority of the workforce would have a fortnight's break. In this period we lab types are hyper-busy. We have to do all manner of maintenance on all our plant & equipment. A large part of this involves emptying our 8 chemical tanks on our pre-treatment line, removing & acid cleaning all the pipework & spray jets, giving all the tanks a very thorough clean & making all the baths back up to their required concentrations, etc. Two of us would take the best part of a fortnight to do this to a pretty good standard.
You may note I said historically...

These days we are given 4 days to do the same job. Admittedly we are given more staff but that doesn't really help much. So I was busy doing that on Saturday till 3. Then I dashed home, hung out with Jeff Stelling for a bit (Leeds Utd have not lost an opening day fixture since 1989, y'know) & then joined Nice in attending the wedding reception of some work people. It was a really good night which went on to explode in a cacophony of Vodka, Coke (you decide) & exceedingly good sex. I finally got to sleep about 4ish. I was up again at 9 & straight back into work. I should've been in at 8. I grafted & sweated as hard as I'd partied the previous night. I left work at 2 & went straight to get The Boy. I then plonked him in front of the x-box & later the Doctor Who website, while I put my aching legs up & read the News of the World.
Nice joined me for the evening but I hardly moved off the sofa all night.
Today has been just as manic at work as we tried desperately to get everything back to how it should be, in time for the line starting again tomorrow. I have to start at 5 am tomorrow instead of my usual 6 o'clock start, just so we are ahead of the game.

Tonight I have the evening to myself, I'm going to cook myself something yummy, have a potter around Blogland & then treat myself to that rarest of beasts; an early night.
I reckon I've earned it.

"...it seems sometimes you're lost in TV"

I don't actually watch a lot of TV. However, I am prone to getting hooked on something & watching it religiously. Sometimes this can be a bit of a bind & I end up being a slave to the schedule (Big Brother) & sometimes it brings something to look forward to on what could possibly be a dull Tuesday evening (Lost). The best way (for me) to watch something is on DVD so I can watch it on my terms.

Recently, Nice has brought something new into my life. I was reluctant at first & the first couple of episodes did little to change my mind. Soon enough though I was getting to know & love the characters & now I'm hooked. I wonder if anyone else has seen this show. To my knowledge it hasn't been broadcast on British terrestrial TV, it's a Canadian affair. It's...

Trailer Park Boys.

















I bloody love it, it's so pant-wettingly funny.
The three guys in the centre of the picture (Sunglasses, big glasses & blue shirt) are the main characters; Julian, Bubbles & Ricky. The basic premise, season after season, is that these guys are hopeless cases who know no other way of getting by than breaking the law. The two guys on the right are the trailer park supervisors (Lahey & Randy) who are constantly trying to land our heroes back in jail. It's almost like roadrunner.

My favourite character is Bubbles, who is a sweet natured guy who tries to avoid all the illegal stuff (but invariably gets sucked in) while making his living repairing Shopping trolleys that he "finds". He lives in a shed & looks after all the park's stray kittys. In one episode he happens upon a wild mountain Lion that he calls Steve French. As you would.

Anyway I've been totally mad for Trailer Park Boys lately & I wanted to share & I also wanted to see if anyone else was into it.

"Don't forget the songs that made you cry and the songs that saved your life"

Owdo!

I saw this over at Mark's gaff the other week & knew then that I would have to have a go...

Pick 10 bands you really like. Do it now before reading on. Mine are (picked sort of at random but all bands I do really like & it was so hard to only pick 10)...

1.Blur
2.Placebo
3.Depeche Mode
4.Muse
5.Manic Street Preachers
6.The Divine Comedy
7.Stereophonics (Shut up! I like them!)
8.Easyworld
9.Radiohead
10.Mansun


and then answer the questions.

1. What was the first song you ever heard by 6?
"Something for the weekend" when it was championed by Chris Evans, back in the day when his show was crucial.
2. What is your favourite album of 8?
Now Easyworld only made 2 albums before calling it a day & I always find it near on impossible to choose. Today I shall be choosing "Kill the last romantic"
3. What is your favourite lyric of 5?
"If I can shoot rabbits then I can shoot fascists"
4. How many times have you seen 4 live?
Much to my dismay I have only seen the mighty threesome twice. First time at Rock City, Nottingham in 2001 when I was ever so slightly disappointed & then a few months later when they headlined the smaller stage at the V festival in Staffordshire where they somehow ripped me apart & fed every single molecule in my body into some sort of ecstasy flavoured fizzy drink container which was then vigourously shaken up & opened spraying my disembodied self straight to heaven where a group of nubile heavenly chicks lovingly put me back together again just in time for the end of "Bliss". Actually that doesn't quite do it justice.
5. What is your favourite song by 7?
"Same size feet"
6. Is there a song of 3 that makes you sad?
How long have we got? Shall I just single one out? "The things you said" has always tugged at my heartstrings, especially the middle eight; "I get so carried away..."
7.What is your favourite lyric of 9?
"Kicking squealing Gucci little piggy"
8. What is your favourite song by 1?
Predictably enough it has to be "Song 2" though I also adore "Out of time"
9. How did you get into 8?
I went to see Supergrass at the now closed down Roadmender in Northampton during the spring of 2002. It was a warm up date for a festival, just a one off. The support band had just started when they arrived. They were playing a song that grabbed me straight away, it was ace! I left my perch on the balcony & went down to the front of the stage. They continued to be bloody brilliant. The next day I bought their single "Bleach" which was the song I was hearing as I walked in. That's when the love affair with Easyworld began. Incidentally Supergrass were bloody terrible that night. Honest!
10. What is your favourite song by 4?
"Time is running out" or "Stockholm Syndrome" but "Knights of Cydonia" may yet take that title.
11. How many times have you seen 1 live?
Twice. The first time they were headliners at V97 in Leeds & completely put the lid on an utterly joyous weekend. I also saw them at Hull Arena In December 97. Blur are a bloody excellent live band.
12. What is a good memory concerning 2?
I swear I went by the rules & picked my bands before I looked at the questions, it's just all working out so sweetly. It was April 1997, Reckless & I were fast becoming super moshing surfing gig monsters. For Placebo's gig at Leicester de montfort hall we had brought Funny Dance with us & there were no women with us. So we decided to have it large! We all had an E before the gig & a couple of smokes. Now Funny Dance had only ever been to see the likes of Del Amitri or Erasure before & had never experienced a "Proper" gig before. As we waited in the throng Reckless & I could see that Funny Dance was getting a little nervous. The band came on & opened with "Bionic" which starts with just the bassline before exploding into full swing. When it kicked off Reckless & I threw ourselves into the throbbing mosh pit with giddy abandon. Funny Dance looked petrified & tried to make a run for it. So we grabbed him & pulled him back in. We then, without any warning at all, picked him up & threw him up onto the crowd. He then crowdsurfed all the way to the front. When he found his way back to us he flung his arms around the both of us & exhaulted that his experience was mindblowing. For the rest of that gig & indeed the rest of "The gigging years" Funny Dance could mosh & surf with the best of them. I only have to hear the intro to "Bionic" & I break out into a broad grin at the memory of a fantastic night spent with my very best friends. (sighs) ah, happy days.
13. Is there a song by 2 that makes you sad? "My sweet prince" it may well be about heroin but to me it shall always be about She Who Changed Everything
14. What is your favourite song of 6?
"Tonight we fly"
15. How did you become a fan of 10?
My first "proper" gig was again at the Roadmender in Northampton. It was Shed Seven, who were ace by the way. The support were Mansun & they were fucking shocking. I later heard "Stripper Vicar" which is such a bloody great song that I couldn't believe it was the same band. Then came "Wide open space" which I also really liked so when I found out they were supporting Suede at Watford town hall in February of 1997 I figured I'd give them another chance. They were absolutely superb as was their debut album a month or so later. I went on to see Mansun live on over 10 further occasions & they were never less than excellent except for one occasion that was just plain odd. On my 30th Birthday at the Roadmender. I guess that Northampton just freaked them out, eh?


Blimey, I right enjoyed doing that.

"I had the best intentions, yeah honestly"

I'm sorry. I really did mean to update a lot more frequently. I actually started a big old detailed post about Nice & I's trip to Amsterdam. I ended up shying away from the post because it was going to take so damn long to do.
(sigh) achievable goals Flash, achievable goals.

Anyway, let me distill our trip into a bitesize selection of photos & words...

The little short building with the 2 windows & a sign above was our favourite coffeeshop viewed from the rear. It was taken just as we started one of the canal cruises.






This was the main entrance to the same place. It was just up our street (literally & metaphorically) & we ended up going back there several times during our weekend.
As you no doubt know, I'm quite partial to a doobie now & again. In this place, I first experienced the liberation of being able to sit in a public place with like-minded folk whilst enjoying a spliff or two.


This huge painting (sadly obscured by the light fittings) was in the back of the place where we often sat & I became quite attached to it. I thought it would make a really interesting conversation opener on my living room wall.
Alas, it was far too large to steal.
And it's not just because of the titties, right?



Of course, it wasn't all about getting stoned.
We spent a large amount of time simply wandering about; exploring the place.
I have to say that I found Amsterdam to be a odd city. It had a few beautiful sights but it was all a bit ropey in places too. Some areas simply looked dirty & some places (most obviously the red light district) had a very unsettling undercurrent of bad vibes.
Speaking of the red light district, I found it to be quite different from the scene I'd always imagined. For a start I'd never put a canal in there! I also always figured that it would be much more like a row of shops on a high street with each individual place having it's own unique way of displaying it's wares, rather than the totally uniform windows that the girls stand in. On our first visit late on Friday night, the girls were all fairly attractive & some of them were stunners. If I were the sort of fella who would ever consider paying for sex (which I am so not, by the way) I wouldn't feel too bad paying 50 euros for some of them. The next time we went round there (Saturday afternoon) we saw a marked difference in the type of ladies in the boxes. I'd feel robbed paying 50p for some of them!
On Saturday night we had decided to go & see a live comedy show. It's certainly something I'd always fancied doing. So we went to a place called Boom Chicago. Oh it was so desperately not funny. It's not like they didn't try but it was one of these affairs where the "comedy actors" did lots of improvised "comedy" taking their leads from audience suggestions. In the whole 2 hours I didn't laugh out loud once. Nor did Nice.
It was a major disappointment. We did, however, redeem the evening by having the most delicious ice creams afterwards.
(The photo has no relevance to that last bit, it's just nice.)
Our hotel was utterly shocking, by the way. Our room was more like a cell. There wasn't even a window. Oh, hang on, what's behind those curtains? Of course there's a window! It's just a frosted glass window that backs onto another frosted glass window from the adjacent room!
I'm sure it was put there simply so the hotel management could say "There's your window!"

Of course, we saw Mr. Rembrandt here but other than that we didn't really choose to be cultural.



We chose to be stoned.


I thoroughly enjoyed Amsterdam but I didn't totally love it has I had New York & Lyon.