"All you can do is step back in time"

(Now with new improved Hyde!)

Wonderful things about blogging part 243.
If someone were to ask you what you were up to this time last year would you be able to answer them off the top of your head? Unlikely eh?

Well let us find out. Allow World of Flash to zip back over the last 12 months & remind you what we was going on, on & around May 25th 2005.

Hold on...(whoosh)

Right. Well I was in the process of creating what is possibly my finest piece of music to date & certainly my most popular; "White celebration". I put it out to the world a year ago this week. Blimey!
Other than that I was enthusing about the fantastic Liverpool vs Milan champions league final & making the following proclamation:
"To whomever it may concern, I, Flash of Crapsville, hereby give 48 hours notice of my intention to desist from having non-platonic relationships with women. I feel that over the past 19 years I have given loyal & diligent service to womenkind, however I have become tired of the pretence, the futility &, most of all, the rejection. I feel my life will be much more fulfilling if I concentrate my energies on more rewarding activities such as making music & becoming a better blogger. I take with me many fond memories of my time involved with affairs of the heart & I hope some of the ladies whose lives I have touched will be able to look back & feel a similar fondness. All that remains is to thank those few whose faith has remained & wish the rest of the men better luck than I've had.
Yours defeatedly,
Flash"
Ahem.

Adem was playing cricket & starting to drink at midday to "add some fluidity to his game".

Hammer was preparing for a trip to Washington whilst being driven to despair by her screeching neighbours.
Also in NYC Hyde was no doubt partying hard & cursing Narc for being a twat but her archives have all gone so I can't be sure.
Ah-ha but now I have found them! let's have a look...
Yup, pretty much. It's why I love you baby!

She of the many names just down the road from that part of the world has also deleted her history, bugger.

Sirens were blazing as two fire trucks came to the La Casa de Babs Familius on the fair island of Staten (I've been there!), the cause of all this was an already extinguished Trashburger. Twas all quite the drama.

No drama down in Chicester where Phil had been neglecting his blog. He had been pretty pleased with Star Wars III though & was also speaking of a film called Serenity. Phil? Talking about Serenity? Surely not!

Lordy B meanwhile had been to roam around Rome, had politely turned down a meeting with a girl & her husband(!) in the Reflex bar. He was also loving "Speed of sound" (weren't we all?) & telling us all how he is practically related to Kevin Bacon.

Another one marveling at the Champions league heroics of Liverpool was Stef, he also had posted a pic of somebody dressed as the Death Star (!?) & came out with the following wise words; "As we all know, sausages are the Food of the Gods".

Of course nobody was more thrilled by Liverpool's unlikely comeback than our Weenie who "cried like the girl she is" when Stevie G lifted the trophy. She also was very pleased with her new motor.

Camels & rats had caused Swiss Toni a problem down at the pub quiz, he had also been treating C to a feed at the finest restaurant in Nottingham for her birthday at the expense of the Liverpool game causing him to ponder if there was an anti-sport gene in C's bloodline. Her Brother planned a wedding at the same time as the cricket too. As many of us were at the time, he was also giving us his Star Wars thoughts. Episode III? Pretty good, no more than that.

Over in Toronto Ka was amazed, touched & heartened by the discovery of the Hospitality Club prior to her adventure in Brazil. Back then it used to be a manifesto, y'know? Now it's a full blooded revolution!

Gladys was glad that Bo didn't win American Idol & she missed her train stop because of Sudoku. I wonder if she's yet solved "the little fucker", as she hadn't back then.

"Why am I getting post from Chelmsford? Should I open it?" was the burning question on the lips of Dzesika. Turns out it wasn't a weapon of mass destruction but a randomly sent gift of a Spirograph! What a treat! Used it much Jess? She was also terrorising the local skater punk kids with top volume Barry Manilow! Now that's what I call a weapon!

Scully had been suffering a terrible vacation but had the joy of waving at the Queen. She also asked "Is it wrong to love an air conditioner more than your child?". I wouldn't know but ask me about my I-pod & I'd be struggling!

Telling a story about snogging a pop star, telling us how he'd been in 3 pop videos & running in circles panting with excitement at uber-geek clothing. That's what the ever impressive Mark was up to this time last year.

Aleyca G wasn't with us back then but 2 of my other favourite chicks (I say that but you girls just know that I love you all*wink*) were.

In the wake of my first ever blogger meeting with young Charbs, some upstart on her blog accused me of being "a bit girly". Cheeky bugger! I would've typed a scathing reply but I'd broken a nail! She was also whoo hooing at the prospect of going to Cardiff for the play off final. Hmmph, don't talk to me about play-off finals!

The lovely Spins was going all Hawaiian at work against her will & "being forced to wear a lei and serve treats". It made her Cranky. She was also preparing to jet up to Alaska for a wedding & loving the joys of spring when "a very cute woman noticed me checking her out and checked me out back".

And there you have it, if only Mr. Mystic hadn't left us, he'd be able to tell us all what we'll be doing this time next year.

"So don't be a fool again 'cos they're just hooligans"

I'm not a happy bunny.
I've been feeling a bit off about something for a few days & something has just brought these feelings to the fore.
The something in question was a comment seen on another blog. Firstly, I'd like to say that I don't hold the poster of said comment to be responsible for my ire. It's just a manifestation of feelings that I have seen round Blogland & of course in the real world too. Also I believe that the blogger in question is quite young & god knows I often spoke without thinking my words through when I was a younger man.

The comment in question stated that in our country when there are major international football events going on that "hooligans" affix the flag of St.George to their cars. What sort of people do that?
"The sort of people that like to cover their cars in England flags are also the sort of people that like getting drunk, getting into fights, doing other stupid stuff like drink-driving, etc."

I will no doubt be putting an England flag on my car in the near future. I will be doing that as my small way of showing that I, as an Englishman & a football fan, am supporting my team & also because I consider it to be a little piece of fun. The whole country becomes a much more colourful place at these times, I like that. And I know I'm not alone in that.
So tell me why is this practice looked down upon? Do YOU believe that I'm a drink-driving, street fighting hooligan?

This is only a part of the picture though, I've recently been feeling marginalised for my liking of some of modern culture's more populist things. I love watching Big Brother; contrary to some opinions this does not put me on an intellectual level with plankton. In fact it says absolutely nothing about me other than I find that particular show entertaining.

I read The Sun. That is my choice. I choose it because it entertains me (a little) & it's easy enough to read in the very limited amount of time I usually have for such things. I've certainly got enough about me to know that their opinions are just that; opinions. And though I may find them distasteful sometimes I don't have to share them do I? Besides all papers have their own opinions & I've not found one that matches mine, though I have read ones whose rhetoric literally makes me sick. Daily Mail, anyone?
I know for a fact that there are people who look down their noses at me because I choose to read The Sun.

Maybe the books I choose to read also provoke incorrect assumptions about me? I don't know.

As always when I'm riled by something, I find myself suffering from an inability to express myself with enough articulation to really hammer my point home. Damn.

I think a lot of this may be my own insecurities. I'm a working class boy from a working class family from a working class city with a working class job & a working class circle of friends. Since I commenced this internet adventure I now find I have many friends who do not share my background. This is a wonderful thing. Strength through diversity.
Perhaps though I feel a bit of an odd one out as I think it's fair to assume that a lot of my on-line friends would or could be considered middle class. Inferiority complex? Maybe.

So what exactly is my point? The point is I hate to be classified & pigeon holed by the sort of widescreen judgmental generalisation seen in the quotations in the 2nd paragraph.

"By rights you should be bludgeoned in your bed"

I am not a violent man.

The last time I hit somebody was in 1986. And that was in self defence. A couple of thugs randomly attacked Ridgeley, The Gentle Giant & myself whilst we were waiting for a bus in Methley (supposedly England's largest village, fact fans!). I didn't do too badly in the brief skirmish that ensued, especially considering that when a passing motorist broke up the scuffle there was only me. My two friends had run as fast as their long legs would carry them.
Gits.

Since then there has been absolutely no contact between my fists & somebody else's face. There was a time when I had to be held back cos some little scrote had spit in a friend's face. That was close.
And there was once some aggressive nightclub posturing with a guy who was being really shitty to a young lady who was a friend of Temper Tantrum's, but that's the extent of it. I'm sure you get the picture.

Fortunately I have seldom been on the receiving end either. I did once get punched by both Reckless & Dream Girl on the same day but that's a story for another day. Ooh, did I say another day, I meant never.

I am fiercely proud of this, I abhor violence & consider it to be the action of stupid people. (I know there are exceptions).

However, I would dearly love, & I really, truly mean this in all seriousness, to punch this man very hard in the chops.














For those not in the know, he is one of the contestants in this year's Big Brother

"Travel round, I travel round, decadence & pleasure towns, tragedies, luxuries, statues, parks & galleries"

Oh well...
It wasn't all doom & gloom yesterday though.
Funny Dance phoned me in the morning to tell me of some good fortune that had come his way.
He's only gone & won two tickets for a world cup match from McDonald's!
Guess who he's taking with him?
That's right, moi!

It's the game between the winners of group E & the runners up of group F. It's on Monday June 25th in Kaiserslautern & though these things are pretty unpredictable, it's likely that it's going to involve Italy. If we're really lucky & Brazil have a wobbly group stage, the place could be teeming with Brazilian totty! Fingers crossed, eh?
We've already booked the flights & because of the time of the game (17.00) it's relatively easy for us to get there & back in a day. We arrive in Frankfurt at 09.30 & fly back out at 23.15. Brilliant!
I've never been to Germany before, so I'm thrilled to see somewhere new & I'm chuffed beyond words at having an opportunity to soak up the atmosphere of the world cup.
Hopefully we should have a few spare hours to rose around Kaiserslautern, which'll be nice.

Again, I find myself marveling at how good everything has been going for me lately. And how much traveling I've been doing, Crisp Fiend joked that I should be called Jet Set Flash!

It's all good!

"You can't always get what you want"

Bollocks.

"I want to ride my bicycle, I want to ride my bike"

Today at work, Delusions Of Grandeur, Crisp Fiend & myself got to talking about accidents we had as kids & the crazy things we'd do back then. We spoke of many different things but one subject was bikes.

So I'm gonna witter on about bikes.

Before I do though, using the term "witter" as just reminded me of something. Reckless & Dream Girl bumped into Rick Witter (Former lead singer with Shed Seven) in Northampton last Wednesday. Reckless phoned me to gleefully tell me about this & to suggest that Nice & I join them in going to see Rick Witter & The Dukes at the Soundhaus that night. I'd only just got back from New York & was jiggered. That coupled with Middlesborough's UEFA cup final being on the telly (Nice & I had watched almost every game of their campaign & didn't want to miss the final), I declined. As we watched Boro get a 4-0 drubbing Reckless & Dream Girl had a great time & Reckless got to sing with Rick. Some other guy got up onstage & sang the choruses to "Chasing rainbows". I've always wanted that to happen to me! Bastard

Anyway, my first proper bike was a Chopper.














It was exactly like that one except mine was silver with purple writing. It was ace!
I loved that bike, I also hated it.
Why? Well let me tell you...

Not too long after I got it (I reckon I was 9 or 10 at the time) I got a puncture on the back tyre. Not knowing anything about those sort of things, I enlisted the help of MarriedAProperBitch to fix said problem. During the operation he accidentally snapped the toggle chain (the bit of equipment that changed the gears). Now although a new toggle chain only cost about 5op, I inexplicably never replaced it. My Dad wouldn't pay for it because he thought MarriedAProperBitch should pay for it. I know!
Anyway the upshot of all this was that my Chopper was permanently stuck in third gear.
Which would have been fine if I never ever had to ride up a hill again. I was raised in Yorkshire though, not Norfolk.
I distinctly remember my cub pack (Yes, I was in the cubs!*) having a bike ride to Rothwell Park, which was about 5 miles away and the journey involved at least 2 great big chuffing hills. I was completley cream-crackered when I got there 10 minutes after everyone else.
I did alright on the way home though.
Despite this impediment, my Chopper served me for a good few years until one xmas (1983, I think) it was superceded by Ronnie. Ronnie the racer, to give him his full title. Sleek, stylishly coulered white fading into red & in possesion of twelve fully working gears, Ronnie was a grown up bike.

*My time in the cubs was responsible for the most embarrasing photo of me ever taken. Bribes may be considered in exchange for posting it.

There are many stories involving Ronnie. Three of these took place within one week-long stay with MarriedAProperBitch in the summer of 1985. I had brought Ronnie to Crapsville with me on the train. One day MarriedAProperBitch suggested that he introduce me to his friend; Funny Dance. This involved a fairly short ride through Crapsville's southbrook estate. I was following MarriedAProperBitch through what seemed to be an ever-increasing maze of twists & turns of pathways & alleys. Imagine the scene from the second Matrix movie with the motorbike, it was like that but without the agents! All of a sudden MarriedAProperBitch slammed his brakes on. Far too suddenly for me to react accordingly & I slammed into the back of him. Poor old Ronnie's front wheel was, & I shit you not, bent through 90 degrees! Funny Dance poked his head out of his window to see MarriedAProperBitch laughing uncontrolably & me shouting all kinds of abuse at him.

With Ronnie's front wheel replaced by one that was actually circular, I left Crapsville on Sunday to make the long journey home to Wakefield. This involved cycling 12 miles to Rugby, getting a train to Birmingham New St where I would change to a train all the way home. Now before I go on let me just remind you that I was only 15 years old. The first part of my trek went fine. I stood on the platform at Birmingham & awaited my train to Wakefield. When it pulled in I headed for the guard's van to stow Ronnie for the journey. That's when I met an utter bastard...
"You can't put that on the train, there's no room"
" "(nervous laugh assuming he was pulling my leg)
"I don't have to take bikes y'know & there's no room"
"It'll fit in there easily" I said motioning to the practically empty space behind him
"No, you're not getting on with that"
Now incredulous & not a little worried "but it's the last train to Wakefield!"
"Not my problem"
"HOW AM I GOING TO GET HOME??"
With that he went about making sure the doors were shut before waving his flag, the platform guy blew his whistle & the last train to Wakefield departed from Birmingham New St without neither Ronnie or I on it.
Disconsolately, I carried Ronnie up the stairs to the concourse where I explained my plight to a fairly unsympathetic member of staff. He told me the only way I could get home now was to go to Crewe & then wait 3 hours for the mail train that went to Leeds.
So that's what I had to do. I arrived in Leeds at 4 in the morning. I still had an 8 mile bike ride to do, out of one of Britain's biggest cities.
What a bastard, eh?

Sandwiched between these events was the day when this happened;
It was morning & MarriedAProperBitch & I where making the short trip to his girlfriend's house. She lived on the main street that runs through the aforementioned Southbrook estate (incidentally just next door but one to Nice's house that she shared with her ex). Now the houses on this road are considerably lower than the road itself & have quite steep front gardens. As we approached the house MarriedAProperBitch cycled down the path of stairs that led to the door. "Bastard" I thought "I was gonna do that". The only option I had now was to ride down the lawn. Halfway down I applied the brakes. The dew on the grass ensured that, although my wheels had stopped turning, my bike kept on hurtling forward. In what seemed like mega slow motion Ronnie's front wheel slammed straight into the wall. The wall that was directly underneath the bloody great front window. Now I'm sure we all understand inertia, don't we? Yes, Ronnie stopped dead but Flash didn't. I went crashing through the window head first, eventually coming to rest with my waist in line with the where the window was. MarriedAProperBitch's girlfriend & her younger brother who were watching the telly were now sat in open mouthed shock. I shook my head, looked up & meekly said "Morning!".
I've always been very pleased that I had the composure to say that, it wouldn't be half the memory it is without it.
Somehow I had avoided any sort of serious injury, though I did have to go to the health centre to have a few minor cuts treated & to have lot's of shards of glass removed from my mop of curly hair. MarriedAProperBitch's girlfriend's father was absolutely apoplectic, when he arrived & from that day forth I was definitley persona non grata in that household.
Smashing tale though, eh?

Ronnie's life came to an abrubt ending one Wednesday morning. I know it was Wednesday because it was my day off from my first ever job. My Mum came into my bedroom & interupted my lie in with the news that some blokes were riding my bike up & down the street. I dismissed it as typical Mum nonsense, which you'd fully understand if you knew my Mum.
Turns out, my Dad had asked the council to come round & clear a load of junk out of the garage. They actually cleared everything out though including all Dad's tools, his lawnmower & Ronnie. In the end most of the non-junk items were returned but not Ronnie. (sob)

Ronnie
1983 - 1986
I salute you.

"...picture of Manhatten skyline"

I right feel like a good ramble (no, I'm not donning my wellies to go for a long walk)...
but first, as promised, some pictures;

That's the rather staggering view from Hyde's apartment. Imagine that! It was like the first thing I saw every morning! Albeit in a more blurry & wobbly fashion.




That's the Empire State building from which I took literally grillions of pictures, I'll share 2 or 3...





























I took several from the Staten Island ferry, at the time they looked fine on the camera's display screen. Sadly, most have turned out to be blurred. Shame because it was sunset as we passed the Statue of Liberty, D'oh!
Still I did manage to get one decent shot of the old bird...




























































So, that last one is cack because dumbass here couldn't figure out the flash on the camera but if you look hard enough you'll recognise the apartment building where all the Friends lived (at some time or another).

On our final drunken night together I managed to get Hyde & Hammer to pose together for me...



I had the best time with those girls!
















Nice is currently in the good old US of A. She flew out on Friday morning with some friends for a two week holiday in Orlando, Florida. It's a little strange because we've been apart loads already, but usually it's because I've been away. This time I've got 2 very normal weeks in Crapsville ahead of me & I'm gonna miss her a lot. While we're on the subject of Nice, I should tell you a couple of things. Firstly, we are still very happy together & are still having as much fun (& sex) as we always have. It's all good. Secondly, Nice is aware of this very blog, I sometimes let her read the odd post under my supervision. Here's the thing; she really doesn't like her Blog name. She says it's too boring. I have told her that names are not changeable (which I know is kind of ironic in her case) but she's very keen for a new one & she suggested that I put it to my lovely readers. Shall I grant her wish & if so, any ideas?
I have some ideas but most of them are filthy!

Nice's absence should give me lot's of free time to devote to Album2 which has slowed right down since my little burst a couple of weeks ago.

Speaking of tunes, I'm very happy to tell you that I've gotten hold of Muse's new single "Supermassive Black Hole". It's hella cool but it does bear more than a passing resemblance to Adam Ant's "Room at the top". Well, I think so anyway. Most of my recent listening time has been spent on Snow Patrol's "Eyes open" album. I really like it. Other than that I've really been enjoying Placebo's recent album; "Meds". It's nothing of a departure for them, in fact it's textbook Placebo but it's very good textbook Placebo. And that'll do for me.
Other than that I've been feeling my way into the recent albums by The Vines, Morrissey, The Kooks, Embrace, Morning Runner & The Delays. It takes time to soak them all up, I tell thee.

On Friday night I went over to Reckless & Dream Girl's. Crikey, the place as changed a bit! New 7 seater sat on the drive, laminate flooring, new leather sofas that do that reclining thing, plasma screen TV, new coffee table & a new computer. Bless them.
I'm immeasurably pleased for them as it's often a struggle with a family of 6. It was a night of much fun & happiness.
As per usual we got pretty drunk, as is a little less usual we did a few lines of Charlie & as is thankfully much less normal these days I fell off my Dream Girl wagon in spectacular fashion. Not that she seemed to mind though, it must be nice having two people who love you implicitly.
I should point out that I never "did" anything. No, my line-crossing is almost always verbal & no more. It's nothing she doesn't know anyway. As she said, referring to a very fine song on the subject, "We both know".

That reminds me, I have gotten myself a page at MySpace to further spread the Gnu Cnu cause. If anyone would care to have a nose or a listen it's here.

It's time to have a bit of a clean up over on my blogroll. Some of the blogs on there are rarely updated, dead or simply (without any offence at all) not floating my boat anymore. I have set myself a strict limit of 30 as well. So I'm gonna have room for a few new ones, I feel like I could do with some new blood.

Wasn't the cup final the best in absolutely yonks? I did feel a little sorry for the Hammers but let's all hope Steven Gerrard can keep that sort of form going through the world cup, eh?

Ooh, here's one thing I never told you about my trip to NYC. I was watching the Leeds game in Cheers during the afternoon. When I went to the (possibly the smallest in the world) toilet, someone had kindly dumped a whole load of icecubes into the urinal. Guys, it's the most fun you can have peeing, I swear! (Unless you're one of those frighteningly strange golden shower types, I suppose. Brrr, perish the thought!)
And because I was virtually the only person in there, they were still there on subsequent trips. Happy days!

I've been with The Boy a lot since I got back which has been great. Today we went swimming which was a load of fun. Last night we sat down on the sofa together to watch Doctor Who. He's really got into it & it's really nice just to sit there with him. He hasn't hidden behind the sofa yet as I used to when I was his age, but I reckon he's been close. It's very good telly though, isn't it? And Billie Piper is very easy on the eye too. I missed most of the last series so I couldn't really form an opinion on Christopher Eccelston as The Doctor. I do however think that David Tennant is very good indeed. My favourite was always Tom Baker but I liked Jon Pertwee too, even though he will always live in the memory as Wurzel Gummidge. Now that was good telly for kids.

I'm sure there was something else I was going to bring up but I'm jiggered if I can remember what it was.
So I'll be off then, Cheerio!

"I ran, I ran so far away..."

Tonight I spent a rare Saturday night in by myself.
I decided to watch a movie as there was chuff all on telly.
God damn Forrest Gump makes me cry every single time.
And that's all I have to say about that.

"She says she likes the accent..."

Right, where were we?

Sunday afternoon; Hyde & I spent ages just talking about love, life & the world we live in. It was one of those great chats where time just melts away unnoticed. Then we went for dinner at the Manchester, which was nice. We then returned back to Hyde's place where we had a lovely spliff or two while watching Family Guy, American Dad, The Simpsons & South Park. Cartoon comedy heaven. It was a great way to spend a Sunday night.

Hyde had to teach on Monday morning so I got up & went for a walk to the Rockerfella centre which wasn't much to write home about. I carried on up to Times Square & had some yummy breakfast on Broadway. I then headed off to meet Hyde at our pre-determined meeting spot; David Blaine.

After curiously watching the mentalist for a little while, we set off for the Planetarium. We passed the Dakota building en route, which I'd already unknowingly done the previous day. The planetarium was a mixed bag. The show we saw, Cosmic collisions, was ace! The whole place jumped when the collision that led to the creation of the moon was shown. It rocked. The downside was there were loads of kids about being noisy & daft, as kids do.
A cab ride through the park later & it was back to Hyde's. Where I left her to her own devices while I went off to Cheers to watch the Leeds match. Two goals, one floodlight failure, two dodgy sendings off & four pints of Stella later I went back up to Hyde's place & introduced her to a new song...altogether now;
Marching on together...
I was a little giddy by now. And Leeds United are only one game away from that coveted return to the Premiership.

Monday night had been deemed 24 night for Hyde & Hammer. Hyde fancied a drink or two first & I thought it was a good idea too. A return to Cheers ensued.

This turned out to be a master stroke. Monday night was as good a time as I had during my trip. At first it was just Hyde & I chatting with each other & Barman (who I really liked, he was a geezer), then Hammer joined us. I'm not sure I've made enough fuss about Hammer yet, she's a great girl & I had a lot of fun with her, oh & she's in possession of a top quality ass! So is Thursday Girl who arrived shortly after. She had just graduated that day, so we were all instructed to shout "Master" when she walked in. Which worked a treat. I also enjoyed it when she was showing off her new tattoo but that's just cos I'm an old perv! By now the level of drinking had been turned up a notch, doubles & shots were coming thick & fast. There was another couple in there who were friends of Thursday Girl's. The female one announced that I was hot! (Something to do with the accent). By now I had met almost all of Hyde's blog characters, the only one I never met was B. That's because Anxious was soon to join us! I was told that, on pain of death, I had to flirt with her when she arrived. Apparently I'm prone to flirting after a drink or two (right Hammer?) so I had no problem with my mission. When she did arrive Hyde introduced me, I took her hand & planted a little kiss on it. I reckon she may have quivered a little & she said that she might want more of that! Her boyfriend arrived soon afterwards which released me from my duties. She seemed perfectly nice from my brief meeting with her though she was ALL tits & teeth. The assembled masses continued to drink till closing time, it really was great fun & I genuinely felt like I'd made a favourable impression on all these people judging by the warmth of their goodbyes. Hammer, Hyde & I retired back up to Hyde's place where we initially had a big loud sing-song until NDN's forceful wallbashing curtailed us a bit, well it was about 2 am! I took some pictures of the girls & I & eventually bode a sad farewell to the lovely Hammer.
Hyde & I then had a nice spliff each & proceeded to get stoned as well as drunk. Then Hyde's phone rang... I'll give you 3 guesses.
Got it in one, it was Narc.
And so she gleefully tottered off into the night & I blissfully bedded down on her sofa for the last time.
It had been a wonderful last night for me, absolutely wonderful.

Tuesday morning flew by, I went out for some breakfast & then went shopping for some gifts. Macy's? What's that about? Maybe it's just for girls, eh?
Soon enough I was back at Hyde's. I gave her a thankyou gift that I'd bought for her; Elvis Monopoly! A big hug later & I was on my way back home.

I have all my photograph's sorted out now but I think I'll do a photo post next time.
I'll share just one with you though.
The first day I was alone in Hyde's place I was thirsty so I went for a look in the fridge for a drink. I mistakenly opened the freezer first to be confronted by what is possibly the wierdest, most bizarre thing I ever did see...

"I'm on 45 between 6th & Broadway"

Well I was yesterday morning but I'm home.
I had the best time.
I have got serious jet lag so updates wont be forthcoming today.
Apologies.

"Take a lift to the top of the Empire State"

Guess who got to meet Blogland's most notorious character?
That's right, me!
More of that in a while...
So after some well earned (especially on Hyde's part) chill time our Friday evening started with some medicine followed by a brief trip to the roof of Hyde's building where there was a party going on. There was also a party on the roof of another nearby building. How very cool; you don't get that in Crapsville! After a brief chat with NDN it was time to move.
We then took a cab to the East village where we had a little wonder around including a brief visit to the pub that Evil recommended (cheers for that, dude!). We then settled in a little Hawaiian bar. The drinks & the conversation flowed freely, only broken by my need to occasionally go outside for a smoke & Hyde's phone.
At one point she got a message that literally made her dance about in glee. It was, of course, Narc.
Shortly afterwards it became clear that Narc was coming to this bar. I have to confess to being quite challenged by this turn of events. Obviously all of Hyde's readers know of Narc & his, ahem, "unique" way of treating her. So I knew it was going to be difficult to keep my own negativity towards him in check, that said Hyde was clearly happy & as she is my friend & my extremely kind host it was clear that the only real course of action was the bite my tongue & try to be cool about it all.
Soon enough he & a group of his friends arrived & we joined them at a table together. I was separated from Narc by Hyde. I actually didn't talk to him much at all. Though one conversation I did have had me snarling behind my polite exterior. He said that vinyl sounds better than CD which I heartily disagreed with. He then pointed out that on his $35,000 stereo system the record deck had blah, blah, blah, etc. While Hyde was kicking me under the table I calmly replied that those of us who live in the real world wouldn't have any knowledge of such things, so to me my initial statement remained correct. Ironically enough, he later bummed a cigarette of me. Still I can't say that I saw anything to bad from him so I'm sorry to disappoint but no acts of Flashy violence were forthcoming. At around 3.30am Hyde & Narc went off to do their thing & I returned to Hyde's lovely sofa to drift off into a lovely slumber.

On Saturday morning I went out sight seeing. I got myself some yummy breakfast in a little diner & then went to the Empire State Building.
Wow!
It's a pretty obvious statement but the views are absolutely spectacular. Beyond any words I have in my vocabulary. Needless to say I took grillions of pictures, which I'll be showing off upon my return to Blighty.
Another really good thing about it was the cost; under a tenner in Sterling!
If it was in London they'd be charging at least double that.

From there I took a walk back to Hyde's place & hung out for a bit with her. Then we rode the subway down to Brooklyn Bridge. We then walked through the financial district, close by to Ground Zero, past Wall St and finally arriving at the Staten Island ferry terminal. Here we met Hammer. The three of us then rode the ferry. It was really cool & our timing had been immaculate. The sun set just as we sailed past the Statue of Liberty. Marvelous!
By the time we'd reached Staten island it was dark & the view of NYC's skyline all lit up was breathtaking. When we got back to Manhattan we (eventually) got a cab to Hammer's place in the West village. We hung out just for a little while before going out again. We were initially on a very important mission for me. As we walked to our destination, I was shown the bar where Hyde very first met Narc.
Then we were there.
I cross the street & stood in exactly the right spot to view this most amazing of sights. The apartment building used in Friends! Yes, Monica & Rachel's & Chandler & Joey's! I was so very chuffed, though I was a bit miffed that I couldn't get a decent picture of it. For some reason I couldn't get the flash to work on the camera.
We then went for a bite to eat before retreating back to Hammer's place where we had a joint & watched Saturday Night Live. Given the previous 2 nights frolics, it should come as no surprise that we just crashed & burned then. Hyde & I got a cab back up to her place & an early night was had, if you call 1am an early night.

This morning, for the first time here, I awoke feeling bright eyed & bushy tailed. Hyde was having lunch with her sister today, so I headed out on my own to see some more sights. I pretty much retraced last night's steps so that I could take a trip out to liberty island & see the old girl up close. I deviated my route slightly & walked past Ground Zero. I kinda regretted it. I quickened my pace as I walked past. I found myself feeling very uncomfortable, my camera stayed in it's case as I tried to distance myself from the hordes of tourists having their picture taken at the site of such incomprehensible tragedy.

I arrived in Battery park to get my tickets to Liberty Island only to find that I should have listened to advice & booked in advance. There were no more tickets available for today.
Oh well.
So I walked round to Wall Street, saw the Stock exchange & got the subway upto Times Square. There's nothing quite like seeing a forty foot Jennifer Aniston, I tell thee! After several more photo's I wondered up to Central Park which was just peachy. The weather here as been wonderful since I arrived, bright, sunny & warm but not scorching. So it just made my walk in the park so very lovely.
I then followed that with a visit to the Lincoln Centre to see a buffoon in a big goldfish bowl. Yup, David Blaine is doing one of his "stunts". There were lot's of people there. I couldn't get too close but I did manage to get a couple of snaps of the crazy fool.
From there I hailed a cab & came back to Hyde's place for some chill time. And that's us up to date.

Today's lyric is taken from the Human League's "The Things that dreams are made of", I'm not sure if anything as ever been more appropriate. It all really is once in a lifetime stuff. One of the best things & slightly unexpected things is how much time Hyde & I have spent together. It has been truly wonderful, she is an exceptionally kind host & has also been a delightful guide for me. I know for a fact I've seen & done stuff that I wouldn't have if I'd just come out & stayed in a hotel. I genuinely mean it when I say, I cannot thank her enough.

"I wanna be a part of it..."

How you doin'?

So I am in New York & it's hot!

I arrived at noon local time yesterday. After the obligatory hour going through immigration & baggage claim I got myself on a train into town. I met a very nice couple from Rugby whilst waiting for the train.
Then before you could say "woah, there really is steam coming up from the street" I was at Penn station. I called Hyde (which now sounds really odd as I've been calling her by her real name) to forewarn her of my impending arrival. Then I walked through the city to her place. It took me about half an hour & it was blazing hot. It was a cool introduction to the city though & gave me a chance to get my bearings. I walked past Madison Square garden & the empire state building. It was all kinda surreal.

I arrived at Hyde's and quickly dealt with the oddness of seeing somebody you know pretty well but have never seen before.
I am still amazed by her apartment. It's way up in the sky & the views are spectacular. I'm sure I'm doing Hyde's head in with the number of times I've mentioned it. We hung out for a little while & went for a little walk round the neighbourhood. Hyde took me to Grand Central Station which was ace. Obviously I've seen it in the movies but the concourse there really is quite grand (pardon the pun). It's not Euston, I tell thee!

After some TV & sitting about, it was time to go out for the evening. We met the delicious Hammer & the three of us went for dinner. It was really cool & we spoke of many things, including some of the characters in our blog world.
We then went to the infamous Cheers where it was Karaoke night. I had a fantastic night, I met all the various Cheers folk that reader's of Hyde's blog will know & love such as Irish Bird, Pumped up & Thursday Girl. We were also joined by a couple of Hyde's other friends. Hyde sang Alanis Morrisette's "You oughta know" & Belinda Carlisle's "Heaven is a place on earth". She was great though I know that I have yet to hear her at her best as that sort of music isn't her speciality. I sang U2's "One" & Radiohead's "Creep". I sang pretty well & I got a wonderful reaction from the people in there. I was getting high five's from complete strangers, it was ace! Actually I have to say that everybody I've met has been very welcoming & super friendly.
Hammer left us but we weren't done yet, no sirree!
They were shots, there was the guy who peed on Hyde's hand once, there was a duet from Hyde & myself which was fun even if it was an embarrassingly cheesy song & there were several more drinks.
I was pretty wrecked by the time we headed back to Hyde's place. I had been up for 26 hours at that point though so I did reasonably well.

This morning Hyde very kindly left me to sleep on her sofa when she went to work. I woke about 10 & felt like utter shite. I had a smoke & decided to go back to sleep, which I did for another couple of hours. I went out at noon & still felt crap. I took a walk to Times Square where I bought The Boy some goodies in the biggest Toys R us I've ever seen.
I then wondered down Broadway a little & then hung out in Bryant Park with some ice cream in the glorious sunshine. It's been 80 degrees here today. I mosied around some more seeing the Trump Tower amongst other things. Then it was time to visit Cheers again so that I could watch the Leeds vs Preston game. Hyde came in towards the end of the game after finishing work. Then we came back here to chill for a while.
Tonight we are going out to get "fucked up". Wish me luck!

So, what of Hyde herself? She's bloody lovely. She's certainly a character & has an obvious lust for life. She is also clearly well loved by all the people in her life & it's really not hard to see why.
Right now I need to chill a bit before the night out. Tomorrow I am gonna start doing some tourist stuff & take some pictures.
I don't want to come home & say "What's New York like? Dunno, I was drunk!", do I?

"Catch a plane to New York & a cab going down, cross bridges & tunnels straight into town"

I am now officially giddy!

In just 36 hours from now I'll be getting the train up to Birmingham international airport.
36 hours!!!

Today I have had my hair cut. This was very important as I really didn't want to meet another blog friend with the words "...and I must apologise on behalf of my hair".
My travel insurance is all sorted.
Delusions of Grandeur is lending me his digital camera (bless him).
And best of all...I changed all my money over to US currency so I now have a fistful of dollars!
Hurrah!

I am so, so excited.
I have always wanted to go to the big apple. I forsook the opportunity 6 years ago when I was last in the States as a gesture of love to my lovely ex-wife. It was her dream destination, so I elected to go to Niagara falls instead & we said we'd go together one day. Hmmm.
She went two years ago but now it's my turn.
I want to do all the usual touristy things like the empire state, the statue of liberty, times square, central park, etc.
I also really want to go to the Rose centre for Earth & Space which looks hella cool.
Of course I'm really buzzing about seeing one of New York's lesser known legends; our very own Hyde. I still have some hope that I might finally meet my far flung friend too, but I'm in the dark about that. (perhaps an e-mail is forthcoming?).

I realise it may not be possible but I'm hoping that I can find a British pub that will screen English football. My beloved Leeds United are playing on Friday & Monday whilst I'm there in the two legged play off semi final against Preston North End. I have very little faith that we'll overcome Preston but I'd really like to watch the events unfold if possible.

There's one other thing I'm also quite excited about & the wait for that is only 3 and a half hours away.
Lost is back!



















Yay!
With a double episode too!

Sometimes, life is just peachy!